Flight attendant: Okay, everyone, we're going to be landing soon. We would like to be the first to welcome you to reality…I mean, Cleveland.
Plane over Cleveland, Ohio
Flight attendant: Okay, everyone, we're going to be landing soon. We would like to be the first to welcome you to reality…I mean, Cleveland.
Plane over Cleveland, Ohio
Pre-cal teacher to apathetic senior students: Now we're getting into the fun stuff–exponential growth of fruit flies!
Prattville, Alabama
Overheard by: Lindsey
Girl on cell: Nooo… I’m not sure I should go to Florida. That could lead to sex.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Jock #1: Dude, that bitch broke my heart.
Jock #2, eating a burrito: I know, man. You were always so unhappy, and I wanted to, like, slap you around and make you happy.
Jock #1, singing softly and staring blankly at the ground: I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you…
Jock #2: Look, man, we boys, aight? But when you start singing cheesy-ass love songs to a chick that cheated on you, gave you an STD, and shit on top of your car because she’s crazier than a fucking monkey on crack with a banana up its ass, something’s wrong with you, and maybe we shouldn’t hang out anymore.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Sam
Four-year-old boy: Mom, can we get a puppy?
Mom: You don't need a puppy, you have a little brother.
Four-year-old boy: Yay!
Carlsbad, California
Overheard by: californiabeaner
Sit-ups guy to older dude: Oh, hey there, Bob.
Older dude: You know, every time I see you I think of my dog.
Sit-ups guy: Oh? Why's that?
Older dude: I keep trying to get him to kneel. (walks away)
Z-Center, MIT
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: MaybeHisNameIsNeal
Girl #1: Hey girl, what's up? How's your summer? You still runnin' 'round with that bad boy?
Girl #2: Oh no, he dead.
Girl #1: He dead?! No! He dead? When?
Girl #2: Few weeks ago. It don't matter. We weren't goin' out no more.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
College girl #1: Did you hear about that slavery thing?
College girl #2: No, like a real, live slavery thing?
College girl #1: Yeah! It's in Europe somewhere, like the Philippines.
Rock Valley College
Illinois
Girl with notebook: Women are like peanuts. And men are like… like glasses of tequila, I guess.
Wilmington, Delaware
Drunk student: I want nothing more in life than to be able to turn into a shoehorn.
Vancouver
Canadia
