She Also Says This When She Gets Called on in Class

Sorority girls playing drinking game in bedroom floor: Sarah! Drink!
Sarah: Hold on, I need to undo my pants!

Sorority House
Oxford, Mississippi

Overheard by: bootay

Posted on April 15, 2020
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Would You Like One?

Professor: I have three children: 15, 13, and 7.
Female student: Oh, I don't think I could have three.
Male student: Yeah, with two you can do person-on-person defense, but with three you need zone.
professor: You have a point.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/08/just-reminder-that-football-season.html

Overheard by: Ian

Posted on April 13, 2020
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Default, Eavesdrop DC, Girls, Guys, Kids, Students, Teachers

ROTFLMFAOAWMP

Middle-aged woman: What the fuck is ‘W-T-F’?

Exmouth, Devon
United Kingdom

Overheard by: Bernard

Posted on April 11, 2020
Default, England, Idiots, Questions, Stupidity, Women, Words

If One of Our Editors Doesn’t Beat You to It

Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!

Gas Station
Waco, Texas

Posted on April 8, 2020
Default, Family ties, Jobs & Careers, Rednecks, Stupidity, Texas

And I’m Running Dangerously Low on Reese’s Pieces

Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it’s still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don’t see any; I don’t have any spit.

Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Uses spit for lube

Posted on April 7, 2020
Crazies, Default, Fears, Guys, Questions, San Francisco, Weirdness, Women

Chances Are, Your Junk's Not Going Anywhere 'til Puberty, Kiddo

Little boy, grabbing his crotch and jumping up and down: Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha!

Target
New Jersey

Overheard by: Jo

Posted on April 4, 2020
Default, Guys, Kids, New Jersey, Stores, Weirdness, Words

Why, Are Crocs Back?

Patron #1: How are you tonight?
Patron #2: Well, I'm currently disappointed in humanity.

Bar
Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by: Projection1234

Posted on April 3, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Indiana, Questions

Wait– What Exactly Are You Using As a Volleyball?

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott

Posted on March 29, 2020
Default, Family ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Kids, Lies, Michigan, Moms, Poop, Questions, Restaurants, Sensory experiences, Siblings

“…Would You Care for a Dead Rat?”

Man at bus stop: So I'm standing there at the counter, sorting time cards, doing my job, and the secretary looks up and says, “okay, I don't care that you do it, and it doesn't bother me personally, but the custodian says he's tired of cleaning up twenty dead rats every day.” And all I can say is, “well, what else am I supposed to do?”

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Tsunoba

Posted on March 24, 2020
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As His Sancho Panza

Girl: You should meet his dad! He's like Don Quixote in a Kafka story.
Guy: Who's father they were talking about…you know…but with a tv.

Sabiá bar, Vila Madalena
Sao Paulo, Brazil

Posted on March 23, 2020
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Books, Brazil, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Technology

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