So This Summer I Learned How to Snatch-Gargle

20-something chick, pouring wine: I hear wine is a good cure for gonorrhea.

Tiger Noodles
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Brokeass Harem

Posted on July 14, 2015
Chicks, Default, Drinking & drunks, Food, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Restaurants, STDs

You’ll Have Plenty of Time for That When You’re in Your 20’s and Getting Out of Limos

Mother to daughter hopping up and down on escalator: Now Beth*, if you keep doing that your pants are going to get caught in the conveyor belt and they’ll be ripped off and all of South Station is going to see your little mermaid underwear. [Girl immediately stops.]

South Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Meg

Posted on July 14, 2015
Clothes, Default, Fears, Girls, Kids, Massachusetts, Moms, Public transportation, Threats

Whatever I Can’t Get from Miss Cleo, Anyway.

Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn’t exist. It’s all in our minds. It’s either hot or cold out, but what are “degrees” really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by… (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I’m going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.

University of Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Glad you’re teaching us then…

Posted on July 13, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Internet, Philosophy, Science, Students, Teachers

Well I Feel Thin!

Sober girl, enthusiastically, to friend who just threw up: You look cute!
Drunk friend, equally enthusiastic: I just threw up!
Sober girl, still enthusiastic: I bet you feel cute!

Subway Bathroom

Overheard by: tina

Posted on July 13, 2015
Compliments, Default, Drunks, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Public transportation, Weirdness

Um, This Isn't an Amino Acids Anonymous Meeting

Girl to calculus class: My name is Jane Doe* and my favorite amino acid is cysteine because it forms disulfide bonds with itself.

St. Joseph High School
Michigan

Posted on July 13, 2015
Default

I Also Learned How to Do the Time Warp!

Little girl: I learned how to make a man!
Mom: A man?!
Little girl: Yes!
Mom: Did you learn that in school?
Little girl: Yes.
Mom: Can you make one for me?

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Mollena

Posted on July 13, 2015
Default, Education, Kids, Moms, New York, Pregnancy

Judging from My Hidden Camera Footage

Butch lesbian: So…how do blind people wipe their ass?
Fem lesbian: The same way everyone else does. Oh…oh my god, that's gross, Wendy. Most people don't look at it.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 13, 2015
Ass, Default, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Lesbos, Questions, Washington, Weirdness

This Baby Can Wait 'Til I'm Done with My Deep-Dish

Woman eating pizza with friends: So, do you want to go to the hospital? Okay, I'm on my way…I'll be a few minutes though. (hangs up and continues eating)

Louis Pizza
Detroit, Michigan