To the Maximum Extent Practicable

20-something to friend: How much next are you?

Wal-Mart
Tuscaloosa, Alabama

Posted on April 2, 2009
Alabama, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Questions, Stores, Weirdness

And Don't Let Windows Hit You on the Way Out

Lecturer: You just want to drag and drop this, like you would with your lover the next morning.

Christchurch Polytechnic Institute of Technology
Christchurch
New Zealand

Overheard by: I wish I took this class…

Posted on April 2, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, New Zealand, Relationships, Religious fanatics, Weirdness

Those Lean Cuisine Commercials Have Rocked Our Society to the Core

Girl #1: You know, thanks for listening to my problems. I know you've got a lot of your own, and they're totally worse than mine.
Girl #2: Dude! My problems are like…I had really crappy Chinese for dinner four hours ago shit. Your problems are just like, you had chicken and a salad for dinner last night shit. It's totally cool.

East Tennessee

Overheard by: yeah? well i had lasagna for dinner.

Posted on April 2, 2009
Birds, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Girls, Gripes, Tennessee

The Back Of the Shelves?

Black student: Where's the ethnic section?
White librarian: The what?
Black student: The ethnic section…you know, where all the books by black people are.
White librarian: We don't have an ethnic section, dear. You'll have to browse the shelves.

Longview College, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on April 2, 2009
Black people, Books, Colleges & Universities, Default, Missouri, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, Students

Totally Struck, but Only Partially Killed

Girl #1, hearing lightning beep: What was that?
Girl #2: It's totally the sound that goes off when you're about to be killed by lightning.
Girl #1: Oh my god, I would totally laugh about that, except for my friend totally got struck by lightning this summer.

Fort Collins, Colorado State University

Overheard by: J-Rock

Posted on April 1, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Questions, Weirdness

His Tusks Are Hot, Though

Girl: It's been a week and I still haven't gotten the smell of bacon out of my hair.
Supportive friend: You have a weird boyfriend.

Rochester, New York

Posted on April 1, 2009
Default, Food, Friends, Girls, Hair, New York, Relationships, Weirdness

…And Scuttling Away, Like a Hermit Crab.

Female shopper, surveying bathing suits: The crotch in this looks a little, uh…narrow. Tiny, actually. I feel like it doesn't provide full coverage.
Sales girl: I know. It's sort of the style now, though.
Female shopper: What do you mean, “style”? My labia showing?
Other shopper, walking up: Yeah, I agree. I don't want my vagina suddenly falling out at the beach.

American Apparel, Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Celessa

Posted on April 1, 2009
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Fashion, Feelings, Girls, Questions, Stores, Vagina, Washington, Words

I Need That Trunk Space on the Way Back

Middle schoolboy to wimpy friend: I always dump my girlfriends before I come to the mall.

Pleasant Hill, California

Overheard by: sam

Posted on March 31, 2009
California, Default, Guys, Relationships, Sexuality, Shopping, Students

Who Had Means, Motive and Opportunity?

Foreign dressing room attendant, opening all stall doors: It stinks in here! Who pooped? Someone pooped in here, and I'm gonna find it. Where is the poop? Who did it?

Ross
Melbourne, Florida

Posted on March 31, 2009
Default, Employees, Florida, Foreigners, Offers and requests, Poop, Questions

Pepperidge Farm's Goyfish Snack Socks Kinda Missed the Boat

Obnoxious teenage boy: No, that guy's really weird. I mean, did you hear what he did last year?
Friends: No.
Obnoxious teenage boy: He took a slice of cheese and two pieces of ham. Then he got a pair of socks and he put them in an aquarium…

Eugene, Oregon

Posted on March 31, 2009
Clothes, Default, Food, Friends, Guys, Oregon, Questions, Teens, Weirdness

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