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Trixy McBimbo: Is “artillery” another word for money?

Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois

Student #1: So you're only taking three credit hours this semester?
Student #2: Yeah. I figure as long as I take at least one class, I can live at home and mooch off of my mother indefinitely.
Student #1: You dreamed it, saw it and are going for it. Awesome, dude.

UCF
Orlando, Florida

Guy: All girls from Minnesota have the same thumbs.

Jerusalem
Israel

Curly-haired woman on cell: My advice is to have sex in 90% of all situations.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Poogtastic

Girl on cell: Yeah, he was there, and he brought the girl he cheated on me with. (long pause) It made the family dinner a little awkward.

Michigan State University

Boy: I wonder if I can have sex with a hedgehog…

Essex
England

Overheard by: Anthony Mercer

Single 30-something woman to friend, as random guy rides by on bike: I would so ride off with him and do anything he wants…unless he's totally into dungeons and shit.

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Steve

(two hipsters stare quizzically at short Chinese-American male)
Chinese-American male: No, what's confusing is I'm becoming Mormon and having a sex change.

UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California

Chick on cell: Let us shower together, damned sheep!

Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McNasty

Obnoxious student in scarf: He was chewing the umbilical cord like licorice.

UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California