It's An Inevitable Result For Those In the Mathematical Professions

Math professor, after reading from textbook: I just lost all interest in life.

Portland, Oregon

Posted on March 7, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Happiness, Oregon, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

As It Says My Big Book Of Things Only Men Are Fired for Saying

Professor to girl walking into class with a large box: Wow, you have such a big package! (entire class starts laughing) I am so getting fired today.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: miao miao

Posted on March 6, 2009
Class, Compliments, Default, Euphemisms, Jobs & Careers, Massachusetts, Teachers, Words

Ever Wake Up in Mid-Sentence, With No Idea What You're Talking About?

Male student: Sorry to use an STD metaphor again, but I think the bee pubic hair represented herpes.

Whittier College
Whittier, California

Overheard by: Sam (kind of hard not to)

Posted on March 6, 2009
Animals, California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Hair, Maladies, STDs, Students

Ever Eaten in Our Cafeteria?

Teacher to student: See, why can't you be more of a brown noser, like him? (points at another student)
Student: Because I don't like the taste of ass?
(class groans)
Teacher: Don't knock it till you try it.

San Diego, California

Posted on March 6, 2009
Advice, Ass, California, Class, Default, Questions, Students, Teachers, Words

Just a Little Tip from Me to You

Customer to cashier: A lot of people say the witching hour is midnight, but it's actually 3 am. I know this because I worship Satan.

Supermarket
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: RW

Posted on March 5, 2009
Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Missouri, Names, Religion

Economics Really Is a Dismal Science

Professor just before class starts: There's no sporting events this weekend, right? We need something to bet on. (pause) I've got it! How about the hurricane?

CSU Classroom
Fort Collins, Colorado

Posted on March 5, 2009
Class, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Questions, Teachers, Weather

That's How Christianity Works

College student: I may not know what I'm doing, but I know what I'm not doing.

Decatur, Illinois

Posted on March 5, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Illinois, Students, Weirdness, Words

Um, Remember When You Tried That in the Pew at Your Uncle's Funeral?

Guy on cell : Yeah, dude, I got her tickets to the Met! $15 seats, so we're way up there, but we're on the aisle too, so we won't get interfered with while we're going at it. (a few minutes later) So the loss of my virginity is imminent.

Jersey City Light Rail
New Jersey

Overheard by: twoferrets