Girl: I'm not going to have fun because I'm going to be sober…and whiny!
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Girl: I'm not going to have fun because I'm going to be sober…and whiny!
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Lady carrying huge crate of Girl Guide Cookies to campus rent-a-cop: But they're just kids! They were just trying to have fun!
Campus rent-a-cop, genuinely surprised: They were smoking pot on my campus!
McGill
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia
Male thug #1: So, am I the dad?
Male thug #2: You and all? Who else have you fucked?
Male thug #1: I know she fucked Tommy as well.
Girl thuggete: He never fucked me, he only fingered me.
Hospital
Newcastle
England
Overheard by: Judge Mental
Girl on cell: Until you are whatever about whatever, then I am all just whatever!
Birmingham, Alabama
Guy: Did you watch that Palin video I sent you?
Girl: Not yet. I have to take my pants off to watch it.
Bloomfield, Connecticut
Driver to people leaving the bus at the university: Buh-bye, have a great day, kids. Enjoy your lessons…bye now. Do your homework. Work hard on your exams so you don't become a bus driver! Bye-bye, everyone!
56 Bus
Leeds
England
Guy exiting art class to female friend: I sleep through that whole class. It's all I can do.
Girl: What about when she asks attendance questions?
Guy: Well, I wake up for that part. It's just… God, I hate her! She's always talking about vaginas! And I'm just like, “Hello! I know what a vagina looks like!”
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Captain, over intercom, after lights go out: You are getting veeeery sleeeeeepy… You do not want peaaanuts… You do not want soooodaaa… You just want to sleeeep until we laaaaand.
Southwest Airlines Flight over California
Overheard by: Andrew
Concerned middle aged woman: But there is no such thing as a burrito fairy!
Flight over Maryland
Girl #1: He's massive?
Girl #2: Yeah, I heard he impaled someone!
Girl #1: I just meant he's tall.
Vienna
Austria
