Would You Just Rob the Fucking Bank, Already?

Bank teller: (nods)
Customer: People have forgotten how to praise the Lord!
Bank teller: (nods)
Customer: Don't complain that you can't find a job! Praise god that there are jobs!

Bank of America
Palm Harbor, Florida

Overheard by: Serena H.

Posted on December 10, 2008
Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Florida, God, Jobs & Careers, Religious fanatics

…Than a Cocktail Weenie

Sex ed teacher: Now, before I start this class, all of you remember that my penis is bigger.

Australia

Overheard by: Not so sure…

Posted on December 10, 2008
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Guys, Penis, Teachers, Weirdness

When He Said “Yes,” You Knew He Was a Terrorist and You Had to Defend Yourself

Girl #1: I love how every time I make a scenario where I'm around Stephen I scream in his face and force him to be sexual with me. Except for that time I rubbed against him in a non-sexual way to cure any illnesses I have.
Girl #2: There was that time you stabbed him in the thigh too.
Girl #1: Really? Why did I do that?
Girl #2: You just wanted to know his dog's name and if he likes pita bread.
Girl #1: Ohhh…yeah.

Asheville, North Carolina

Overheard by: Amanda

Posted on December 10, 2008
Animals, Default, Food, Girls, Names, North Carolina, Relationships, Sexuality, Violence, Weirdness

As Demonstrated in The Rise and Rise Of the Roman Empire

Mom with two kids getting on escalator: Tommy, do you know what this is called? This is an escalator.
Tommy: Escalator.
Mom: Do you know what the opposite of “escalate” is?
(Tommy remains silent)
Mom: Elevate!

Airport
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on December 9, 2008
Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Georgia, Guys, Kids, Moms, Questions, Words

The Best Apples Don't Go Into Applesauce. Or Teaching

English teacher (about Don Pedro in Much Ado about Nothing: “Don” in Spanish means “wicked cool guy.”

Tantasqua High School
Fiskdale, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on December 9, 2008
Default, Education, Language barrier, Massachusetts, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers, Words

It's Skim- I've Been Dieting

Girl: My boyfriend sucked my nipples so hard that I started producing baby milk.

www.overheardatyale.com

Overheard by: overheardatyale

Posted on December 9, 2008
Default, Food, Girls, Kids, Licking, Nipples, Overheard at Yale

The Mister Rogers Episode PBS Never Wanted You to See

Neighbor: The first guy that ever fingered me wore Drakkar Noir.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: sassy san franciscan

Posted on December 9, 2008
Clothes, Default, Foreplay, Girls, Memory lane, San Francisco

Um, This Label Says “For Skin”

Girl: Have you had glandular fever?
Guy: Yes, have you?
Girl: Yeah, the doctor gave me this cream to put on my mouth that was made from stuff that comes from uncircumcised dicks. I was like, “that doctor soooo didn't think I'd read the label.”

Melbourne
Australia

Posted on December 8, 2008
Australia, Default, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Penis, Questions, Weirdness

Must…Resist…”Wet Pussy”…Joke…

Guy on phone: What's wrong with taking a shower with the cat?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Amy

Posted on December 8, 2008
Animals, Default, Douching, Guys, On the phone, Questions, Washington, Weirdness

What's More Fun Than a Game Of Hungry, Hungry Hostage?

Black girl #1: Did you hear her? She said she was hungry as a hostage! I mean, how hungry is a hostage?
Black girl #2: Well…probably a lot…
Black girl #1: Yeah, but sometimes they feed yo' ass!

Northern Virginia

Overheard by: nosy roommate

Posted on December 8, 2008
Black people, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Default, Food, Girls, Questions, Virginia

Default