On a Totally Unrelated Topic, Care to Come See My “Special Room”?

(Christian brother professor is chewing on the ice of his drink after lunch)
Student: Hey brother, you know what chewing ice is supposed to signify?
Brother: Yeah…sexual frustration.
Student (chuckling): Yeah.
Brother (shrugging): Occupational hazard.

LaSalle University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Well D'uh

Posted on September 27, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Default, Jobs & Careers, Pennsylvania, Questions, Religious fanatics, Sexuality, Students, Teachers

Everything Is Coming Together!

Man #1: Hi! How are you?
Man #2 (excited): Great! I'm going through a divorce!
Man #1: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Man #2 (still excited): Yeah! My wife was with another man!

The Woodlands, Texas

Overheard by: ….what?

Posted on September 27, 2008
Default, Feelings, Guys, Infidelity, Questions, Relationships, Texas, Weirdness

Take That Little Hat Off It, Timmy

Two-year-old: Daddy, do I have a penis?
Father: Yes, you do.
Two-year-old: Ha ha! Silly penis.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on September 26, 2008
Dads, Default, Guys, Illinois, Insults, Kids, Penis, Questions

But Was He Grateful?

Teen girl: …and seriously, I spent half an hour on his groin!

Bar
Victoria University
Australia

Overheard by: She was takking about drawing a cartoon!

Posted on September 26, 2008
Australia, Bars & Clubs, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Sexuality, Teens, Time Management

No, Dad, Joe Camel Is Not on the Ticket

Woman on phone: No dad, the Democratic congress is probably not affecting the cancer rate. No, a Democratic president will probably not make cancer rates worse.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/348841951/id-like-to-hear-his-theory.html

Overheard by: me!

Posted on September 26, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Fears, Health & Hygiene, Maladies, On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Politics, Women

Sounds Like a Lovely Centerpiece

Random biker chick: So, you just put your thong right on it?

Sturgis Motorcycle Rally
Keystone, South Dakota

Overheard by: KDH

Posted on September 25, 2008
Body parts, Chicks, Default, Questions, South Dakota, Weirdness

That's the Way You Need It

Man, rolling down window after being cut off in traffic: Motherfucker, you're lucky I'm listening to Journey!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/355849382/so-thats-the-secret.html

Overheard by: anyway you want it.

Posted on September 25, 2008
Default, Guys, Insults, Music, Overheard in Minneapolis

If Only Our Current Administration Could Grasp That Principle

Teacher: Hey! Who was screaming?
Three-year-old: I was.
Teacher: Well, stop screaming inside.
Three-year-old: Sam* was screaming.
Teacher: Look, important lesson for the future: keep your lies consistent.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on September 25, 2008
Colorado, Default, Education, Kids, Lies, Questions, Teachers

Which Is to Say, in Terms Of Letter Grades, I Give It a “Very Good”

Student, showing off his art project: On a scale of one to ten, with one being the lowest and ten being the highest, I was pretty happy with the way it turned out.

Madison, South Dakota

Posted on September 24, 2008
Default, Happiness, South Dakota, Students, Stupidity, Words

What Kind of Landlady Makes Bandana-Wearing a Lease Requirement?

Girl on cell: So, did I tell you? I got fired from my job. (pause) Yeah, I guess I'm not a very good gay and lesbian promoter. (pause) Well I'm not gay, so maybe that had something to do with it. (pause) Oh, didn't you hear? I got kicked out of my apartment last week, too. (pause) Yeah, it's gay.

Redline MAX
Portland, OR

Overheard by: Gus

Posted on September 24, 2008
Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, On the phone, Oregon, Public transportation, Questions, Sexuality

Default

What Kind of Landlady Makes Bandana-Wearing a Lease Requirement?