Cracked out old lady: Yeah, I think it's time for me to get a new dildo.
Cracked out old guy: Oh, really? Why?
Cracked out old lady: I don't know… I'm not getting the same vibrations anymore. You should tell your wife to get one.
Cracked out old guy: Nahh, I don't think she'd enjoy it…
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, true, true.
McDonald's
Surrey, BC
Canadia
50-something mom: It was the first time I've ever heard Brian* call uncle Ned* a prick!
20-something son: Mom!
50-something mom: I don't even know what that is, a prick.
20-something son: Don't worry about it.
50-something mom: Well, Brian's right. Ned is a prick, whatever that is.
Woodbridge, Virginia
Overheard by: Cols
Man on street (asking for donations to a charity): You wanna donate?
Man #1: What about all the money I pay in taxes? That's a donation.
Man #2: Oh shit, I don't even know what to say to that.
16th & Chestnut
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: indigo
Drunk girl to friends: Dave and I were talking about which Muppet is hottest. I said the Count. He says Cookie Monster.
Dave: The Count would count every thrust! One… Hahaha… Two… Hahaha…
Drunk girl: But the Cookie Monster would get crumbs in the bed!
Downtown Grill and Brewery
Knoxville, Tennessee
Woman walking out to parking lot to random guy: Hey dude, I have a picture of you in your underwear! Are you Jared's roommate?
Mexican Restaurant
Stillwater, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Confused yet amused vet student
Girl #1: I'm so high.
Girl #2: Oh, I don't do that anymore, last time I was high I gave a two-hour blow job.
Girl #1: Oh my god, did a little piece of your soul die?
Girl #2 : Not really, Jesus Christ Superstar was on in the background.
Girl #1: Oh, well, musicals make everything better.
Girl #2: Definitely.
York, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jess
Teacher: So this equation is like a machine. You substitute “n” for “-5” and it gives you the product. It's like a sausage-making machine…
Math Class
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
