Like “Reach Out and Touch Someone” Was Any Better?

Lecturer, about advertisements: A hug that lasts all day? What is that, like bondage?

Urbana, Illinois

Posted on June 1, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Illinois, Questions, Words

Judge Me When You've Walked a Mile in My G-String, Okay?

Stripper, yelling at boyfriend: You don't have to shave your vagina everyday to get tips from bald, fifty-year-old men!

Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: late night studier

Posted on May 16, 2009
Age and ageing, Default, Employees, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Money, Nebraska, Vagina

This Isn't Wellesley

Prospective student's mother: I hear there are a lot of lesbians on this campus.
Student tour guide: Well, it isn't like they jump out of the bushes and convert you or anything.

College, Colorado

Posted on May 11, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Gossip, Moms, Sexuality, Students, Women

Or Why We Have Matching Engagement Rings

Male tour guide: So, this building is wh…
Sorostitute: Oh my god! Mike! (hugs tour guide)
Male tour guide: Hi…how are you?
Sorostitute: I'm great, but I gotta run, call me!
Mom in tour: I thought you said your name was Josh!
Male tour guide: It is…I don't know who that was.

Eastern Michigan University

Posted on April 30, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Girls, Guys, Michigan, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types, Weirdness

So He's More Of a Business Associate Than a Friend

Climbing instructor to terrified new climber being held by another: Is he or is he not your friend? Would a friend drop you?
Terrified new climber: Well, he's my husband, so I don't know!

Climbing Gym
New York City, New York

Posted on April 26, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, New York, Questions, Relationships

Like Babies Do

Writer: That guy is so small he could get a job as a stunt midget.
Illustrator: Is that a real profession? I would have thought they did their own stunts.

Greenville Airport
Texas

Overheard by: Mike

Posted on April 25, 2009
Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Texas

We've Given the Bin Ladens Enough, Sir

Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you…because I am Osama Bin Laden.

Starbucks
New York City, New York

Posted on April 20, 2009
Character, Crazies, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Names, New York, Offers and requests, Restaurants, Threats, Weirdness

While the Dean Is Out Of Town on His Grinding and Shimmying Tour

Undergrad student: Where are the nursing faculty?
University secretary: Pumping.

College
Missouri

Overheard by: rami

Posted on April 17, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Missouri, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Weirdness, Words

This Is Your Brain on Subway Conducting…

Subway conductor, as train lights go out: Ladies and gentlemen, we are currently experiencing a delay because some yahoo cut the power lines walking at track level at St. George station. (ominously) Do you know where your children are?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Jtf

Posted on April 10, 2009
Canadia, Default, Employees, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Public transportation, Questions

This Will Easier to Explain with a Cone and Two Scoops

Nanny to five-year-old: Look, Stephen, there's a kitty!
Stephen, petting cat: Since boys have short hair and girls have long hair, then this kitty is a boy.
Nanny: Maybe not. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair too.
Stephen: Then how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?
Nanny: How 'bout some ice cream?

Washington, DC

Posted on April 5, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Hair, Kids, Questions, Washington, DC

Employees