Ride operator: This ride goes over 90 miles an hour… in your mind. We don't know if we can actually do that… without killing you. Enjoy.
Six Flags Magic Mountain
Valencia, California
Overheard by: praying the seatbelts don't fail
Ride operator: This ride goes over 90 miles an hour… in your mind. We don't know if we can actually do that… without killing you. Enjoy.
Six Flags Magic Mountain
Valencia, California
Overheard by: praying the seatbelts don't fail
Customs officer to woman with a cat: Can you prove that this cat is Canadian?
Canadian Customs
Pearson Airport, Toronto
Canadia
Suit on cell: Where do you think I am? I'm at work.
Ticket taker: All tickets and passes!
Suit on cell: I'll call you back. I have a conference call.
R7 Regional Rail
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I'm at work too
Saleswoman: Have a nice day!
Irritated customer: I've already made other plans.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Steve
Cashier: Our credit card machine is down right now. Will that be cash or credit?
Customer: Gee, I guess cash… then.
Fast Food Restaurant
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Kate
Host to dumb tourist: Would you like to sit inside or in the garden?
Dumb tourist: What's the weather like in the garden?
Host: I'm going to guess that it's the same as outside the front door you just walked through.
Restaurant
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Crash
College therapist to class: Now take deep, slow breaths. We don't want stress to take over, because stress means purple elephants.
Marquette, Michigan
Tourist to park ranger: How do I get to Mt. Desert Island from here?
Park ranger: Ummm, you're standing on it.
Tourist: No, I'm not.
Park ranger: Yes, you are.
Tourist: This is ridiculous, I'm going to report you to the government.
Park ranger: No, really, you're on the island.
Mount Desert Island, Maine
Patron: Double cheeseburger and small fries, please.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.
Patron: What sizes do you have?
Counter boy: Medium, large and extra large.
Patron: Which size is the smallest?
Counter boy: Medium is the smallest.
Patron: Fine. I'll take the smallest, then.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.
McDonald's
Bloomington, Indianapolis
Teenager: Hey, which terminal is baggage claim?
Airport employee: Terminal T.
Teenager: Wait…which one?
Airport employee: Terminal T. “T” as in “Charlie.”
JFK Airport
New York City, New York
Overheard by:
