The Heidegger Hobo Also Plays Fundraisers and Private Parties

Homeless guy to girl passing by: The economic downturn has thrown me into an existential panic! (girl looks at him quizzically) Yeah, us street folk feel that shit too.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Alessa Colaianni

Posted on August 30, 2019
Default, Fears, Feelings, Guys, Homeless, Money, Washington, DC

Snaggleteeth Are in This Season

Woman: There’s nothing in my mouth that I’m ashamed of!

87 Bus
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 23, 2019
Bus, Default, Feelings, Mouth, New Jersey, Women

That String Bikini Really Brings Out Your Eyes

Boy: I feel naked.
(long awkward pause)
Girl: I'm glad you're not.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Molly, LQTM

Posted on August 11, 2019
Clothes, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, New Mexico, Weirdness

Yet You Won't Swallow Your Husband's Semen?

Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Pips

Posted on August 9, 2019
Animals, Body parts, California, Feelings, Friends, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Pee, Questions, Stupidity, Women

Body Nazis Are So Vulnerable to Imperfection

Girl: I am going to show you guys my toe, and you’re gonna be sorry!

Cresson, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Posted on August 3, 2019
Beauty, Body parts, Feelings, Girls, Pennsylvania, Sensory experiences, Threats

Your Editors Googled “Lesbian Triplets” and Got Distracted by Porn

College girl #1: So it turned out that he was one of the lesbian triplets!
College girl #2: No way!
College girl #1: Yeah, the tranny!
College girl #2: Owen? I love Owen! I knew him when he still identified as a girl!
College girl #1: Yeah, and it turned out the midget was trans too.

Hampshire College
Amherst, Massachusetts

Posted on August 1, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Feelings, Gender issues, Massachusetts, Sexuality, Sorority types, Weirdness

And Uncle Walter Won’t Stop Poking Me

Distraught sorority girl: My mom won’t accept my friend request on Facebook!
Sisters, collectively: Awwwwww.

Social Psychology Class
Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants

Posted on July 22, 2019
Class, Family ties, Feelings, Florida, Friends, Girls, Internet, Offers and requests, Sorority types

One Of the More Awkward Responses to “I Love You”

Man to woman: You know what I really love? My hair.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: jaytro

Posted on July 21, 2019
Default, Feelings, Guys, Hair, Ohio, Questions

See Those Guys Outside Erecting a Monument to My Not-Caring?

30-something woman: Should we get this one?
Mom: It comes with two 8x10s.
30-something woman, to brother across room: Do you want an 8×10?
Brother: Don't care.
30-something woman: Maybe we should get this one with the 5x7s. (to brother) Do you want a 5×7?
Brother: It's incredible how much I don't care.

Photo Studio
Germantown, Maryland

Overheard by: Daniel

Posted on July 19, 2019
Family, Feelings, Maryland, Shopping, Weirdness, Women

Thank Goodness I Had That Removed

Professor: So a nasal quality of voice would be–you all know who Fran Drescher is, right?
Emo kid: She hurts my soul.

Memorial University, St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Posted on July 12, 2019
About celebrities, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Sensory experiences, Students, Teachers

Feelings