Everyone in Retail Can Identify

Little boy, in sing-song: I believe I can fly! I believe I can… die!
Sales clerk: That's the sad version.

JC Penney
Columbia, Missouri

Posted on November 3, 2019
Death & dying, Employees, Feelings, Kids, Missouri, Singing, Stores

On the Plus Side, We've Finally Found a Decent Place for Our Slip-n-Slide

Loud woman on phone: I was at the funeral on Wednesday and Melvin was sitting in the pew behind me. Halfway through the ceremony he leans forward and goes: “We're at the wrong funeral!” So we had to get up and find the right one. When we got there, the hill was so steep the hearse couldn't get up the hill! It was awful!

Train
Aberdeen
Scotland

Posted on October 2, 2019
Death & dying, Default, Feelings, Geography, Scotland, Train, Weirdness, Women

Let Me Guess: You're a Writer?

Loud 50-something woman, happy and upbeat: I'm just sad. And lonely!

Lafayette, Louisiana

Posted on September 21, 2019
Feelings, Gripes, Happiness, Louisiana, Weirdness, Women

Um, Isn't That a Burger King Crown?

Drunk aboriginal man to drunk friends: I just got out of jail. My mum's been crying for me, my dog's been praying for me, my uncle Bob's been praying for me, all to get me back to Narrogin. I tell you, I'm the king of that town.

Fremantle
Australia

Posted on September 15, 2019
Animals, Australia, Crimes, Drunks, Family ties, Feelings, Friends, Parenting

For a Second I Thought You Were Talking About Our Key-Parties

Five-year-old girl: Hey, mom, you know how you hate “pop and switch?”
Mom: Uh…what's “pop and switch?”
Five-year-old girl: The one where they trade bodies.
Mom: Oh! Oh, yeah, I hate “pop and switch.” That's scary…

JCPenney, Florence Mall
Florence, Kentucky

Overheard by: Dohiyi

Posted on September 7, 2019
Default, Feelings, Girls, Kentucky, Kids, Malls, Moms, Questions, Words

The Heidegger Hobo Also Plays Fundraisers and Private Parties

Homeless guy to girl passing by: The economic downturn has thrown me into an existential panic! (girl looks at him quizzically) Yeah, us street folk feel that shit too.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Alessa Colaianni

Posted on August 30, 2019
Default, Fears, Feelings, Guys, Homeless, Money, Washington, DC

Snaggleteeth Are in This Season

Woman: There’s nothing in my mouth that I’m ashamed of!

87 Bus
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 23, 2019
Bus, Default, Feelings, Mouth, New Jersey, Women

That String Bikini Really Brings Out Your Eyes

Boy: I feel naked.
(long awkward pause)
Girl: I'm glad you're not.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Molly, LQTM

Posted on August 11, 2019
Clothes, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, New Mexico, Weirdness

Yet You Won't Swallow Your Husband's Semen?

Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.

Starbucks
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Pips

Posted on August 9, 2019
Animals, Body parts, California, Feelings, Friends, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Pee, Questions, Stupidity, Women

Body Nazis Are So Vulnerable to Imperfection

Girl: I am going to show you guys my toe, and you’re gonna be sorry!

Cresson, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Posted on August 3, 2019
Beauty, Body parts, Feelings, Girls, Pennsylvania, Sensory experiences, Threats

Feelings