Yeah? Shalom, Baby

Black man, approaching black woman wrapped in garments with only her eyes visible: Salam Aleikum.
Woman: I'm not Muslim, muthafucka, I'm cold!

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Michael

Posted on July 9, 2019
Default, Feelings, Guys, Insults, Names, Pennsylvania, Religion, Women

But Only Because They're Twins

Guy #1: I am in love with her, do you know how I know that?
Guy #2: Because she reminds you of your mom?
Guy #1: Dude, gross! (pause) She does remind me of my sister a bit.

Devner, Colorado

Posted on June 10, 2019
Colorado, Default, Family ties, Feelings, Guys, Questions

As Opposed to Doing the Voodoo That You Do So Well

Girl: She really hated you for awhile, though. She even made a voodoo doll of you.
Guy: Are you fucking serious?!
Girl: Well, she Velcroed a bunch of angry words to a cabbage patch doll and then cried because she was afraid the doll thought she was angry at it specifically.
Guy: She always maintained an impressive level of incompetence.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on May 30, 2019
Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Massachusetts, Questions, Weirdness, Words

Yeah, but We’re Also in Boston

Girl #1: And yeah… She had these stains on her teeth.
Girl #2: Ew! Why… We’re in America.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on May 21, 2019
Default, Feelings, Friends, Geography, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Insults, Massachusetts, Mouth, Stupidity

There Was a Flier in There from a Jimmy Carter Rally

Woman, putting bag on table for security: Ugh, it's really messy, I really need to clean it…I'm sorry.
Security: Ma'am, we're not grading them. (finishes looking through bag) But if we were, I'd give it a c minus.

Hillary Clinton Rally
Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Kendal

Posted on May 16, 2019
Cleanliness, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Feelings, Hawaii, Women

How to Come Out As Trans in One Easy Step

Teenage girl to another: You know what I really hate? When your balls sweat.

Glenfield College
Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on May 15, 2019
Balls, Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Girls, New Zealand, Questions, Teens

I Wonder If the Hospital Would Give Me a Discount If I Produced in Bulk

Black woman, to friend: I love Costco. It makes me like, want to have five kids.

Costco
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Posted on May 8, 2019
Default, Feelings, Friends, Gender issues, Offspring, Pennsylvania, Shopping, Stores, Wishes, Women

Cats Are Hypersensitive to Comma Faults

Boy: So why did you move here?
Girl: I was gonna go to art school and then I wrote this big essay and my cat shit on it.
Boy: Literally shit on it?
Girl: Yeah, I took it as a sign.

18 Bus
Seattle, Washington

Posted on April 18, 2019
Animals, Bus, Default, Education, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Guys, Poop, Questions, Washington

As a Special Treat, Some Of the Altar Boys Will Play With Him

Pastor: Next week we have something very exciting! We have an organist coming into Sunday school! He will be demonstrating to us how he uses his organ, so make sure to come because you won't want to miss it!

Church
Alhambra, California

Posted on April 8, 2019
California, Default, Education, Feelings, Guys, Religious fanatics, Weirdness, Words

Nobody Knew Pig-Pen Was a Girl 'til She Grew Up

Middle-aged man to 20-something bookseller: You've got that sort of hair that men love to mess up…

Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: envious

Posted on April 2, 2019
Default, Feelings, Gender issues, Guys, Hair, Kentucky, Sexuality

Feelings

Nobody Knew Pig-Pen Was a Girl 'til She Grew Up