Woman on cell: I'm at the library because I'm so fucking pissed off at you!
Library Parking Lot
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Girl on cell phone: So I got a little finger action this week, but I said ‘No’ so it’s okay.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Justin
Professor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feelings, and others don't give a fig.
Student #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh vegetables?
(entire class goes silent)
Student #2: I didn't know a “fig” was a vegetable.
Student #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.
Johnson & Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island
Jappy milf #1: I just feel like all I do is sell houses. And I hate it. I just hate my life!
Jappy milf #2: Ugh, I know. We really need to get out of Armonk!
Jappy milf #1: I know. I hate my house! I hate everything in it! My life is horrible here!
Armonk, New York
Drunk girl, burying head into boyfriend's arm: I'm upset with my mother. She expects me to take care of me.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Fallon
Guy: Didn’t you have a friend who lost her virginity to her shoe?
Green haired girl: Yeah. She fell on her foot and ruptured it or something. Like riding a horse.
Pink haired girl: What the fuck?
Guy: Told you!
Green haired girl: I felt bad when she told us because I was the only one busting up laughing.
California
Guy with girl #1, yelling: Oh, hey! How's it going? I love your haircut!
Guy with girl #2, walking in opposite direction: Thank you.
Guy #1: Thank you!
Guy #2: You're welcome.
Guy #1: I love you!
Guy #2: I love you, too.
Olympia, Washington
Girl: I hate violinists!
Boy: What?
Girl: Violinists.
Boy: Oh. I thought you said “gang-bangers.”
BART Airport Train
San Francisco, California
