Now If Only I Could Marry Louis Vuitton

Really skinny sorority girl: I paid my rent and then I spent the rest, $700, on this new Louis Vuitton (squeals and hugs the purse). But now I have 30 bucks to last a whole month. Looks like I'll be dating for dinner or eating crackers.
Sorority friend: You spent twice as much on your bag as you did your rent! At least you paid your rent on time! Don't worry, you'll find dates. That purse is totally worth it!
Really skinny sorority girl: I know, right, I should just live in my purse. I think that is why married women get fat: they can finally afford to eat. You know my ass is getting fat when I get married.

IHOP
Dallas, Texas

Posted on August 1, 2015
Ass, Diet & weight, Fashion, Food, Friends, Money, Relationships, Shopping, Skinny people, Sorority types, Texas

Your Last Lecture Will Be Difficult to Top, Professor

Guy to others: There had better be another exploding chicken!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on July 31, 2015
Food, Guys, Illinois, Weirdness, Wishes

Yeah, But That's What We Thought About Sweden and Meatballs

10-year-old boy to another, watching air show performers from Canadia: Come on, any country that has its own bacon must be good.

Janesville, Wisconsin

Posted on July 31, 2015
Compare and contrast, Food, Kids, Wisconsin

I Wouldn’t Order That Here, Honey

Six-year-old girl: Ask me what my favorite thing in the world is!
Mom: Okay, what’s your favorite thing in the world?
Six-year-old girl: Escargot!

Sherwood Diner
Westport, Connecticut

Posted on July 29, 2015
Connecticut, Food, Kids, Moms

Who Isn't Picturing Rod and Todd Flanders Right Now?

Small child #1: Hey, daddy, can we go get some ice cream?!
Small child #2: Yeah, daddy, let's have ice cream!
Father: Uh, no. But you can have yogurt drinks. They're basically the same!
Small children: Yay!

West Edmonton Mall
Canadia

Overheard by: Dr. Ruth

Posted on July 27, 2015
Canadia, Dads, Default, Family ties, Food, Guys, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests

It's Like the Miracle Of Hanukah!

Ultra-skinny hipster chick: I've been eating the same quiche for weeks.

Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Koch

Posted on July 26, 2015
Chicks, Diet & weight, Food, Hipsters, Maine, Skinny people

…With a Little Plastic Bride and Groom Stuck Inside.

Young boy #1: I want a wedding cake snowball.
Young boy #2: What does a wedding cake snowball taste like?
Young boy #1: Like wedding cake.
Young boy #2: I've never been to a wedding.
Young boy #1: Then it just tastes like cake.

Snowball Stand
Louisiana

Posted on July 25, 2015
Compare and contrast, Food, Kids, Louisiana, Questions, Sensory experiences, Wishes

In the Sense That They Both Have Fewer Than Six Letters

Middle school boy: They could solve world hunger if they just kept cloning lots of sheep.
Friend: Aren't sheep like, tofu?

Radnor, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 24, 2015
Default, Food, Friends, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Science, Stupidity, Tweens

He Left, While Singing, “Everybody Was Kung Pao Fighting…”

Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 21, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Wishes

Is That How the Peter Rabbit Story Is Supposed to End?

Surprised biker: And once he was released from custody, he never ate rice again.

Outside Burger Joint
Glendale, California

Overheard by: Brady

Posted on July 19, 2015
California, Crimes, Default, Food, Restaurants, Weirdness

Food