Baby: Are We Talking about Ass-Fucking Here?

Guy with baby: So, I found out that Ed tried something fairly kinky with Sarah when they got together at our wedding…
Girl: What? What did he try?
Guy with baby: It was fairly kinky…
Girl: Did he try to sodomize her?
Guy with baby: Alright, he did! But he was too drunk… She said it was like a marshmallow. [Turns to baby in baby talk] Wasn’t my cousin a big silly to try to sodomize my roommate when he was in that state? Yes he was! Yes he was!

Dominick’s Restaurant
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Jack

Posted on November 29, 2014
Backdoor, Friends, Michigan

A Moveable Feast?

Fat lady #1: You can not wear that.
Fat lady #2: Shut up. I’m gonna suck it in!

Old Navy, Palisades Center Mall
Nyack, New York

Overheard by: Please Don’t

Posted on November 21, 2014
Diet & weight, Friends, New York

Some Of Ty Pennington’s Ideas Are Rejected by the Network

Guy walking by the main library: … And we could have, like, a Moroccan sex room, with pillows and draperies!
Male friend: Right on!

University of Toronto
Canadia

Posted on November 17, 2014
Canadia, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Geography, Guys, Sexuality

Yeah, but Just As a Prank

Fast-walking woman: You know him — Scott…
Fast-walking man: Was that the guy who put your mother to sleep?

Glens Falls, New York

Overheard by: Kate E. Austin

Posted on November 15, 2014
Friends, Gossip, New York

If They’ve Been Naughty, Santa Brings Them Small Penises.

Female college student: Do boys still really have cooties at thirteen?
Male college student: Nope. That’s when they get penises.

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Meghan

Posted on November 14, 2014
Age and ageing, Arizona, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Penis, Sexuality, Students, Yeahhh, college!

Really Takes Me Back to My Days As a Senate Page

Roommate #1 (about cat): Is she puking or is that butt licking?
Roommate #2: Butt licking.
Roommate #1: Good.

Champaign, Illinois

Overheard by: not enjoying either idea

Posted on November 12, 2014
Animals, Default, Friends, Illinois, Licking, Questions, Sex

At That Point My Crush Was Ova

Girl to friend: So, there was this cute guy, and I was standing behind him, and he just started laying eggs!

Government Center
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: meems

Posted on November 11, 2014
Animals, Beauty, Compare and contrast, Friends, Girls, Massachusetts, Weirdness

Since My Lime Green Mumu Failed to Get Their Attention

Flea market lady: I don’t see the big deal about sanitation these days.
Older flea market lady: I know. The other day at work I dropped a cookie on the floor, then picked it up and ate it. You know, just to see what people would do.

Flea Market
Burley Park, Michigan

Overheard by: Amanda