Friends

Female college student: Do boys still really have cooties at thirteen?
Male college student: Nope. That’s when they get penises.

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Meghan

Roommate #1 (about cat): Is she puking or is that butt licking?
Roommate #2: Butt licking.
Roommate #1: Good.

Champaign, Illinois

Overheard by: not enjoying either idea

Girl to friend: So, there was this cute guy, and I was standing behind him, and he just started laying eggs!

Government Center
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: meems

Flea market lady: I don’t see the big deal about sanitation these days.
Older flea market lady: I know. The other day at work I dropped a cookie on the floor, then picked it up and ate it. You know, just to see what people would do.

Flea Market
Burley Park, Michigan

Overheard by: Amanda

Woman to friend: I'd really like to take off my dress.

Shopping Area
Kansas City, Missouri

Guy: So, I tore my ACL.
Over-enthusiastic friend: Tell ’em how you did it!
Guy: Masturbating!

University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Victoria

Guy #1: I love getting Lisa* Taco Bell.
Guy #2: Why’s that?
Guy #1: It’s gonna get her fat! I’m going to get extra sour cream and she’s going to be all like: “Damn, this is delicious!” Meanwhile, she’ll be getting fat.

Kangaroo
Gainesville, Florida

Asian guy: I hate going there. There’s too many Asian people. I hate being around so many Asian people. It feels too foreign.
Asian friend, holding two Japanese language books: Yeah.

Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Kunoichi

Penn student #1, looking at sculpture: Oh my god, I, like, totally hate art.
Penn student #2: I know, right? They should just buy us all laptops instead.

Locust Walk
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Blonde teenager: Look at her. She's either a whore or a dyke.
Friend: That's why my dad doesn't let me drink Slurpees.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Dylan