Clueless girl: My computer has a virus.
Computer geek: You need an external hard drive to transfer the files you want to keep.
Clueless girl: Can't I just transfer it to another computer?
Computer geek: No, the virus will spread.
Clueless girl: (blank stare)
Computer geek: Its like fucking someone with AIDS.
Los Angeles, California
Father to 20-something daughter: One of these days we are going to have to take you on a trip and show you where everyone in the family is buried.
Daughter, dryly: That would be a lively trip.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: It would be a trip to die for
Girl: If Mary was a virgin, wouldn't Jesus have had to kick through the placenta to be born?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Can't stop thinking about that now at Christmas
Little girl to mom: My stomach controls me!
Campsite, California
Frizzy-haired college girl: Are you seriously asking me to to sell myself so you can hitchhike to Sicily?
Friend #1: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Friend #2: Yeah. Like first of all, no one in Italy would want to pay for you.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: Passing Student
Girl #1: You mean like Christopher Walken?
Girl #2: I think he's going to be on Glee next week, I mean it did look like him.
Girl #1: Oh, don't get my hopes up!
Girl #2: Oh, never mind, it's going to be Julie Andrews.
Escondido, California
Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee
Guy: You abandoned me last night! Both of you, you and James*!
Girl: I'm sorry, I was feeling sick. And I told James* to go back to the bar afterwards, but then, you know, I have a vagina…
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Teenage girl #1: Oh god, I want to fuck him so badly.
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, you whore! You don't fuck him! You make sweet, sweet love to him.
Summit, New Jersey
Girl #1: Do you remember that chick we saw that time?
Girl #2: The one at that place?
Girl #1: Yeah, wait, no, that other place.
Girl #2: Yeah. What a whore.
Girl #1: I know, right?
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: not that chick
