Girls

Girl #1: I have to go take my car in because I got rear-ended yesterday.
Girl #2: (groans)
Girl #1: You know all about getting rear-ended, don't you, Christine?!
Girl #2: I get rear-ended all the time!

Holland, Michigan

Overheard by: john

Guy: I try to cover my butt so girls don't stare at it.
Girl: He's so butt-conceited.

Rochester, New York

Guy: Dude, it's not like you can get Botox while you're breastfeeding.
Girl: Why not?

Zeitgeist Bar
San Francisco, California

Girl on cell: Yeah, he's a friend of my friend in California. He killed those two people… Oh, you saw him on the news? That's a shitty picture they have of him on tv, I hope they get a better picture soon.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: trying to study here

Blond cocktail waitress, looking at a t-shirt of George Bush and his dad with Dumb and Dumber under photos: Who is that?
Chef: Excuse me! Are you serious?
Blond cocktail waitress (a few seconds later, with dumbfounded look): Ooooooh! Is that our President? Then who is that? (pointing to the photo of Bush Sr)
Chef (grabbing head in agony): Owww!

Lulu's Restaurant
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Ben

(in a philosophy class, the subject of “lovemaking vs. fucking” is being discussed)
Angry feminist student: Guys have it so easy! You can go out and fuck any girl you want and no one thinks any worse of you, but if a girl sleeps around she's a slut! Hell, if you somehow don't manage to nail the girl, you can just go home and masturbate. Girl's can't do that!
Female student who hadn't spoken a word all class: Pff, yes we can!

Penn State
Altoona, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: A guy in the same class

Drunk girl, walking over and planting big kiss on guy's forehead: I kissed you like I kiss my cat!
Guy: I don't like cats.

Emporia, Kansas

Overheard by: Very Disturbed

Mum: Do you want some McDonald's for lunch?
Seven-year-old girl: Ew, no, I'd rather die, I'll just have a latte, I think I'm getting a migraine.

Wahroonga Station
Sydney
Australia

Girl: I'm not gonna bend over and let you play my butt in front of other people!

Epcot
Florida

Overheard by: Pilbur

Guy to girl: So you heard about Dave, right? His girlfriend broke up with him last night. He got completely wasted and tried to kill himself by drinking a bottle of shampoo.
Girl: Oh my god! Is he okay?
Guy: Yeah, turns out you cant kill yourself by drinking shampoo. We're calling him “bubbles” now. He'll never live this down.

Lockport, New York

Overheard by: evan