Lady, bumping into man: What? You're so in a rush you have to knock me down?!
Man: Sorry, I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Lady: Watch where you're going!
Man: Please leave me alone!
Lady: No! You leave me alone!
Metro
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jim
Guy #1: She is just not attractive. I thought it might help when she smiled, but it didn't.
Guy #2: I know! It only makes it worse.
Wendy's
Carrollton, Texas
Hobo, sitting next to guys on bench: And then my guys, damn birds! (mutters incoherently) Everywhere! Fucking pigeons! They eat and shit and live and shit. (mutters incoherently) Cats, and mind control, that's what we need…
(hobo gets up and rolls down the street)
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: I think he's my hero.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy: So, I had to sit through 90 minutes of Annie Lennox for work the other night. [Grimacing] They all idolize her in there, which I don’t get, because she’s a heterosexual.
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
50-something Southern belle: We got married last year and he refused to leave for the honeymoon until he went gator hunting. We didn't consummate for three days!
South Carolina
Teenage girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you my mom is wearing thong underwear?
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, that is so weird!
Old Navy Store
Kansas City, Missouri
Girl: I can’t believe you’ve never seen The Sound of Music. You have to watch that.
Guy: Fuck that. I wouldn’t watch that movie if you watched it with me, and we were going to fuck afterward.
Mankato, Minnesota
30-ish black woman, emphatically to self: Damn! Life ain’t nothin’ like I ever seen before.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Whiny five-year-old: Mama! I'm soooo hungry!
Frustrated mom: Well, I don't care! And do you know why? Nobody ever died from hunger!
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Blue-haired guy: Man, those guys over at the methadone clinic are a bunch of snitches!
Seattle, Washington
