When Ward Was Out of Town, June Left Beaver with Wally and Went Barhopping

Guy: So, what do you do?
Woman: Well, I’m actually a homemaker.
Guy: … Oh! So you’re, like, in construction? That’s cool.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/well_the_hours_are_probably_si.html

Overheard by: DRB

Posted on July 24, 2015
Default, Guys, Minnesota, Questions, Stupidity, Women, Words

In Three Days, He’s Unblemished Again

Dude #1: He’s real churchy, but emo, too.
Dude #2: Yeah, totally ‘What-Would-Jesus-Cut?’

Sikeston, Missouri

Posted on July 24, 2015
Gossip, Guys, Missouri

In the Sense That They Both Have Fewer Than Six Letters

Middle school boy: They could solve world hunger if they just kept cloning lots of sheep.
Friend: Aren't sheep like, tofu?

Radnor, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 24, 2015
Default, Food, Friends, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Science, Stupidity, Tweens

I Suppose the Holes in the Balls Are Also Off Limits?

Vice principal: Listen up, everyone! The rules of the school also apply at the bowling alley. If you smoke, drink, or do drugs, we will call the cops. If you break anything, you will have to pay. If you hump the ball machine for the sake of irony, you will be sent home. That means you, Aaron*!
Aaron*: Aw, man!

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on July 23, 2015
Colorado, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Guys, Money, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Smoking, Students, Teachers, Threats

But I Told You Not to Call Me at Work, Grandma

Salesclerk: Your total is $1.81. [Into her cellphone.] Don’t worry, girl, I am listening to yo’ hideous self!

Lawrence, Kansas

Overheard by: kerblammerz

Posted on July 23, 2015
Default, Employees, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Kansas, Money, On the phone, Stores

If It's Not a Potential YouTube Video, Why Look?

Girl sitting by window: Oh, John, come here!
Guy: What? Why?
Girl: Because there's a male and female cardinal sitting on the same branch!
Guy: Are they fucking?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 23, 2015
Birds, Girls, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sex

One Nation, Under Beer…

Guy #1: This root beer is really… inspirational.
Guy #2, thoughtfully: Canadians like all types of beer…

Hot Docs Festival
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Felicity Thistle

Posted on July 23, 2015
Canadia, Drinking & drunks, Feelings, Guys, Philosophy

The High School Musical Outtakes Were Somewhat Shocking

Guy: Why were you guys talking about my penis?
Girl: We weren't.
Guy: Yes you were! I heard you mention it!
Girl: Zach! The world doesn't revolve around you and your penis!

Hagley Park
Christchurch
New Zealand

Posted on July 22, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Lies, New Zealand, Penis, Questions

It’s Like How Some People Only Smoke When They Drink

Gentleman: See, this is the thing — I have a couple of drinks, and then I think, ‘Hmmm… Spiro’s cock up my arse…’

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardinmelb/243261.html

Posted on July 22, 2015
Australia, Backdoor, Default, Drinking & drunks, Guys, Overheard in Melbourne's Journal

…So Quit Being Such a Pussy.

Greaser guy holding kitten: Who's a kitty? You's a kitty! Who's a kitty? You's a kitty! Who's a kitty? You's a kitty!
Punk girl: I think he knows he's a kitty.

Bakersfield, California

Posted on July 22, 2015
Animals, California, Girls, Guys, Punks, Stupidity

Guys