Seven-year-old-daughter: I'm sorry, daddy, but I love crafts!
Father: I know…can't you find another hobby?
Seven-year-old-daughter: No, daddy, it's going to be just like at camp!
Father: Yeah, your mother and I should have switched you at the hospital.
Michael's
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Diana
Flight attendant: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight 1751 to Raleigh-Durham. My name is John and I am your head flight attendant today. I will be assisted by my lovely fiancee Sarah and my ex-wife Jill. It may be a little awkward but we hope you have a pleasant flight.
Runway
Atlanta, Georgia
Male hipster to another: So, I was jerking off into this vagina…
Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: DagnyTaggart
Queer #1: You have so many ringtones!
Queer #2: Yeah, when I get depressed I buy ringtones. It's my thing!
Queer #1: When I get depressed I but chocolate and underwear.
Queer #2: Holla!
(they high five)
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Big Al
Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!
Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California
Dude #1: So did you fuck that chick after we left the other night?
Dude #2 (glancing around to make sure no one's listening): Yeah.
Dude #1: Yes! I knew it!
Dude #2: Dude, I didn't even know what was going on until I came outta my blackout, and realized I was balls deep.
Dude #1: Condom?
Dude #2: (shakes head)
Dude #1: Yes!
Toons Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Counselor: What do you need Legos for?
Nine-year-old boy: To make weaponry!
Center for Autism and Emotional Support
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Little boy hitting trash can: I demand this trash can to give me money!
Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium
Tacoma, Washington
Guy to friend: So she broke her vibrator for the third time?
Mystic Lake Casino
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Pompous guy: The karmic wrong done to me that day was absorbed by the jacket!
Fremont
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Mickity Mike
