Man #1: You know what I’m gonna do as soon as that train comes? I’m gonna go in between the cars and take a whiz!
Man #2: Yo, man, you can’t do that! You’ll get in trouble! When the train comes just sit yourself down with me and we’ll smoke a joint!
Fullerton L platform
Chicago, Illinois
Seven-year-old girl with speech impediment: I told everyone in class I was going to the Kentucky Derby.
Mother: Did people know what the Derby was?
Seven-year-old girl: Alicia didn't! She was like “what is the Derby?” but everyone else in the class knew!
Mother: Well, that is because she is from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire.
Mother: She's from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire?…I told her I was sorry she was adopted.
Southwest Flight above Chicago, Illinois
Engineer #1: We’re playing my little ponies?!
Engineer #2: Oh, god.
Engineer #1: Dude, we’re gonna fucking kill them! [Laughs maniacally].
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Bleached blonde, looking at hair dye: Oh! This is totally my hair color!
Brunette: No, it's not.
Bleached blonde: Well, it would be… If it changed.
Roscoe, Illinois
Overheard by: Dumbfounded Beauty Advisor
Woman holding long sweater: Excuse me, do you work here?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: What is this? Is this a dress?
Employee: It's one of those… long… sweaters…
H&M, Water Tower Place
Chicago, Illinois
Young guy: Dude, some guy dropped his baby on my foot earlier.
Illinois
Overheard by: munder
Teen girl: Well, I was gonna do my project on, like, abstinence. But then I figured everyone in our class already isn’t anyway.
High School
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kristin D
Hooker, yelling at pimp in parked car: Lemme axe you somethin: fuck you!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: rob w.
Professor walking through the hall: Well I guess I’d have to be spanked then.
Asian grad student: That’s why they’re called “accidents”!
University of Illinois
