Insults

20-something guy to another: He found Jesus. In the two months I hadn't seen him, the motherfucker found Jesus.

Swinger's
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Kristin

Dancing girl #1: How do you know how to line dance?
Dancing girl #2: I was a Girl Scout!
Dancing girl #1: What? Are all Girl Scouts rednecks?

Connecticut

High school student: She’s a two faced bitch, but not in a bad way.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/04/high-school-student-at-lowell-high.html

Overheard by: emily

Guy #1 (after guy #2 leaves): Man, I hate him so much.
Girl: What? Why?
Guy #1: Ever since he fell out that window and almost died and shit, girls have been all over him. He's a goddam womanizer.
Girl: He is pretty cute.

Houston, Texas

Scene guy: Come back! I want a hug!
Guy quickly leaving on bicycle: Eat my shit!
Scene guy: I want my hug!
Guy quickly leaving on bicycle: Eat my shit!

22nd and Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: catty

Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!

Starbucks
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath

Guy: Well, how could you tell I was drunk?
Girl: Because you were actually funny.
Guy: Well, you were actually attractive.

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Super Mike

Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what’s your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter’s name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.

Bar
Los Angeles, California

Big burly man, earnestly: So then he said, “my wife is in labor,” but I didn't exactly know what that meant.
English man, in disbelief: What? What did you think it meant?
Big burly man: I dunno… Um, like, just pregnant?
English man: So what did you say?
Big burly man: I just said, “yeah, that sucks for you.”
English man: Wow, he must have thought you were a real asshole.
Big burly man: Haha, yeah. And then she had the baby in the apartment.
(long pause)
Big burly man: So, anyway, now the building's hot water's not working.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: trying not to laugh

Girl: I think the live-action of GTO is so much better.
Guy: I think the live action of your mom is so much better.

Norristown, Pennsylvania