Scientologist: Excuse me, sir. Would you like a free personality test from the Church of Scientology?
Suit: I don’t need one. My wife says I’m an asshole.
Outside Church of Scientology, Yonge Street
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick
Scientologist: Excuse me, sir. Would you like a free personality test from the Church of Scientology?
Suit: I don’t need one. My wife says I’m an asshole.
Outside Church of Scientology, Yonge Street
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick
Gym bunny #1: … So then he said I must not be paying attention to my practice if I had so much to say about his.
Gym bunny #2: Oooh, that’s a yoga slap if I’ve ever heard one!
Donkey Coffee
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: Lisa
Girl #1: For Halloween we should dress up as something we're not!
Girl #2: Then I'm going as a slut!
(other girls in the group stay silent and look awkward)
Girl #2: Bitches!
California
Chocolate store girl: You’re a dicksucker. You know that? I mean, why bother with you? You seen my ass, you know I’m good-looking. You’re-.
Guy in Goofy costume, muffled: Whatever. There are other tits. I’ll be just fine regardless. And just so you know [lowers voice as kids approach] you’re gonna get us both fired if you keep this shit up.
Chocolate store girl, loudly: Fuck you, and fuck your fucking ass! I hope you get fired! Then you can go home and suck your asshole!
Guy in Goofy costume, losing it: Better than sucking your ex’s dick when you’re supposed to be working.
Chocolate store girl, stunned: Who told you that?!
Guy in Goofy costume: Jen, after I fucked her!
[Girl walks into the shop quickly and goes into back room looking like she’s going to cry. Goofy goes back to wandering around aimlessly, waving to little kids.]
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: after that, my g/f and i applied for jobs there
Sophomore girl: Yeah, I had Mr. Jacobs* last year, and he had a retarded accent. He said, ‘I am from Wales,’ and I said, ‘Hehe, screw you!’
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Huge gangsta boy: Maaaan, gimme a hug!
Preppy white friend: What?! No!
Huge gansta boy: What the fuck, man, just gimme a goddam hug!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Mom: Does Mommy look fat in this?
Toddler: Yes!
Mom: No! You’re supposed to say no!
Toddler: [Silence.]
Target
Moreno Valley, California
Overheard by: Lisa
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we're stopped here because Amtrak's having signal trouble. They're working on the line, but don't know how long it'll take. We could be here five minutes, we could be here fifty minutes.
Loudmouthed commuter: I don't believe this–the same fucking thing happened on Monday!
Even louder commuter: Why the fuck you gotta use language like that?
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, let me remind you it is not the conductors' fault the train is stopped. We want to go home too, and we're stuck here on this train with you.
NJ Transit
Overheard by: Graceful Space
Bum women: Do you have bus fare? I need bus fare.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t have any change.
Bum: Well, fuck you, you fat, scheming, cheap bitches!
Main Street
Hartford, Connecticut
