Jobs & Careers

Old guy to friend: He got a new girl who works in the sex industry… and you know his fantasy has always been two women. I told him it'd never happen, but apparently it did. His girl has a friend who was willing to play along…

Holland, Michigan

Woman on cell: I'm coming to LA to make 100 Egyptian army uniforms, then I'm going back.

International Airport
El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: V

School counselor, trying to get kids to guess a career: This person might work in fashion, or decorate houses…
Fourth grader: A gay guy!

Raleigh, North Carolina

Sad dude: The great thing about being a bike courier is that my muscles no longer respond to commands unrelated to bicycling. For instance, I just spilled a Caesar salad all over my pants.

http://www.overheardquote.com/?p=62

Out-of-towner: I like being paid in envelopes; it makes me feel like a prostitute.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jonathan

Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!

Gas Station
Waco, Texas

Music history professor, putting a CD in the player: And now we pray to the god of CDs. It’s not good to be a teacher with CDs. They are very stupid things. [Pause.] …It’s not good to be a teacher, perhaps that’s what it is.

Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland

Hipster boy: So, are you doing that post-bac pre-med thing?
Hipster girl: I dunno…I don't really know what I wanna do.
Hipster boy: Really, you don't wanna do medicine anymore?
Hipster girl: I dunno, I wish I could like, win the lottery. Then I'd go to like, Ghana, and just save people.

NYU Elevator

Bimbette: … You, like, learn to flip people on the mat. My mom knows how to do that. She works with retarded kids and they, like, have come at her with scissors and tried to cut her throat before.
Barista: That doesn’t sound like a job I’d want to have.
Bimbette: No, she loves it.

Starbucks
Gaithersburg, Maryland

Overheard by: I just want my mocha, please

Male wedding-goer to female wedding-goer: Oh, you guys work here? Excellent! My sister's husband, oh, I mean my brother-in-law, sells semen. Bull semen.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/367412831/you-know-in-case-youre-in-the-market.html

Overheard by: best pick-up line ever