I'm Just Psyched to Have the Opportunity to Mock It

Tween #1, excitedly: Oh my god! Look, it's High School Musical stuff!
Tween #2: I hate High School Musical.
Tween #1: Oh, well… so do I!

Hickory Hollow Mall
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: i hate it too

Posted on February 18, 2017
Gripes, Malls, Stupidity, Tennessee, TV shows, Tweens

It Was the Best Of News, It Was the Worst Of News

Young girl in stall with mother: Mommy, what's that?
Mother to young girl: It's called pubic hair, sweetie…all women have it. When you get older, someday you will get some.
Young girl, mortified: Nooooooooooo!

Mall Restroom
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Monica

Posted on March 18, 2016
Age and ageing, Hair, Kids, Malls, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Restroom, Should have used a condom, Vagina, Washington, DC

From Another Disturbing Episode Of The Nail Files

Little boy, stopping in front of a nail salon, horrified: Mommy, what are they doing to these people?!

Wal-Mart
Marietta, Georgia

Overheard by: nezuzu

Posted on September 11, 2015
Georgia, Guys, Kids, Malls, Questions, Weirdness

And How You Spent Your Summer Vacation

Black girl on cell: So, uh? So then, you explain what a cracker is to you…

Tacoma Mall, Washington

Overheard by: Troy

Posted on September 6, 2015
Black people, Default, Girls, Malls, On the phone, Race, Washington, Words

Ad: Maybe She's Bored With It, Maybe It's Heroin

Girl #1: Why did they all look at you like you were on heroin?
Girl #2: I don't know. I always act like I am on heroin, but I just take Xanax.

Mall
Virginia

Posted on August 14, 2015
Drugs, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Malls, Questions, Virginia

Because You're the Big Top, Pee-wee

(two lesbians taking items out of the shopping cart to place in their truck)
Butch lesbian (picking up a heavy box): Why do I always have to carry the heavy things just because I wear the dildo?

Wal-Mart
Dublin, Ohio

Overheard by: Octopus seeks sucker fish for good times and long walks

Posted on August 14, 2015
Default, Gripes, Lesbos, Malls, Ohio, Questions, Sexuality, Toys

Further Evidence That Malls Cause Gayness

Dude to two other dudes: I wouldn't just suck on the tip of it.

Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: browny

Posted on August 11, 2015
Advice, BJs, Malls, Penis, Queers

Instead of Prison, Convicts Should Be Sentenced to Host Slumber Parties

Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don’t kiss that!

Mall
San Diego, California

Posted on August 6, 2015
California, Dads, Default, Family, Girls, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests, Should have used a condom, Siblings, TV shows

Strangely Less Inappropriate

Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!

Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon

Posted on July 28, 2015
Assholes, Body parts, Default, Etiquette, Hands, Malls, Oregon, Siblings

Who Isn't Picturing Rod and Todd Flanders Right Now?

Small child #1: Hey, daddy, can we go get some ice cream?!
Small child #2: Yeah, daddy, let's have ice cream!
Father: Uh, no. But you can have yogurt drinks. They're basically the same!
Small children: Yay!

West Edmonton Mall
Canadia

Overheard by: Dr. Ruth

Posted on July 27, 2015
Canadia, Dads, Default, Family ties, Food, Guys, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests