Pop Quiz: For What Size Wheel Is This True? Show Your Work.

Young child in line for ferris wheel: Mom, what does ‘Four RPM’ mean?
Mom: Four miles per hour.

Six Flags Amusement Park
Western Massachusetts

Posted on August 8, 2015
Kids, Massachusetts, Moms, Stupidity

Even Better Than Peeing on the Parsley

Very serious little boy: I just love the grocery store bathroom.
Confused mom: Why? What’s so great about it?
Little boy, wistfully: It’s just so peaceful…

Kaiser
Saratoga, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Posted on August 5, 2015
California, Happiness, Kids, Moms

Not Unlike Your Innocence

Cute little girl staring at ceiling: Mommy, what is that butterfly doing there?
Bitchy mom: It’s dead.

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/05/and-its-all-your-fault.html

Overheard by: Glowien

Posted on August 5, 2015
Death & dying, Insects, Kids, Moms, Overheard in the Valley

You Always Show Me Up, Peggy

Whiny-voiced 20-something: My period showed up two days early and ruined my weekend plans with that guy I was seeing.
20-something with baby: My period showed up two weeks late, stuck me with this, and ruined my life. Pass me one of those shirts in a medium?

Springfield, Illinois

Overheard by: Katie F

Posted on August 4, 2015
Clothes, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Pregnancy

And Who You Callin’ a Dias?

Old man with mullet to brown child in stroller: Buenos dias, niñito.
Woman pushing stroller: We’re black. He knows English.

Gallivan Center Trax Station
Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on August 3, 2015
Black people, Default, Guys, Kids, Language barrier, Moms, Old folks, Race, Train, Utah, Women, Words

But We Honor Him Every Time I Buy You a Lap Dance for Your Birthday

Mom tourist: We're going to go see the Washington Monument, do you know who it's named for?
Son tourist: Yes, our first President, George Washington
Mom tourist: That's right. (pause) He's dead now.

Washington, DC

Posted on August 2, 2015
Death & dying, Family, History, Moms, Names, Questions, Stupidity, Tourists, Washington, DC

As Evidenced by the Last Election

Metro cop addressing large crowd waiting for the orange line: Keep moving down the platform. Move down, please!
Tired tourist mom: Move down, honey.
Little girl: Why?
Tired tourist mom: Because we're sheep, that's why.

Smithsonian Station, DC Metro
Washington, DC