…But Occasionally Grind My Hips. What?

Guy: So yesterday I totally got paid $10 an hour to lay on the floor and do nothing!

Liberal Arts Building, Utah Valley University
Orem, Utah

Posted on July 2, 2017
Guys, Money, Utah, Weirdness

By Show Of Hands, Who'd Give Him the Money Without Hesitation?

Flamboyant black man to woman waiting at crosswalk: Oh, thank god for a sister! I need some money for the bus and I just know you'll help me out, little white barbie sister!

Saint Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Margie

Posted on May 22, 2017
Black people, Default, Family ties, Guys, Missouri, Money, Public transportation, Queers

I’m Just a Toxic Spill Waiting to Happen

Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill!

Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado

Posted on April 19, 2017
Advice, Clothes, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Diet & weight, Fat people, Friends, Girls, Goths, Gripes, Money, Offers and requests

I See Rich People

Mourner at funeral: Tut, one of the undertakers left his jacket on that gravestone.
Son of deceased man: We should check it for money… (whispering) Ghost money!

Graveyard
Cork
Ireland

Posted on February 28, 2017
Death & dying, Ireland, Magic, Money, Should have used a condom

And I Worked Really Hard to Steal Them.

Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: Sorry, I only have cards.

Austin, Texas

Posted on November 8, 2016
Girls, Hobos, Money, Panhandling

I Still Got All Muddy, But I Was Paid for It.

Office worker: Well, I almost went to Woodstock, but then an opportunity to make money came up.

http://evadne-noel.livejournal.com/

Posted on October 23, 2016
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Money, Music, Other sites

Last Time I Tried That, the Other Girl and I Both Ended Up with Concussions

(women's restroom, a man in a Santa suit enters)
Drunk woman: Hey, you're not a boy!
Restroom attendant: You mean he's not a girl.
Drunk woman: Yeah, you're not a girl!
Drunk Santa: Ho ho ho, ladies! I just wanted to see what you wanted for Christmas!
Drunk woman: Huh?
Restroom attendant: I want money, haha!
Drunk Santa: Then cross your labia, ladies, and merry Christmas!
(he leaves)
Drunk woman: Wait, what?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Posted on October 19, 2016
Default, Drunks, Guys, Illinois, Insults, Money, Restroom, Santa Claus, Vagina, Wishes, Women

In Her Basement

Woman #1: He's 41 and a millionaire, what's wrong with him?
Woman #2: He lives with his mother.

Geelong
Australia

Overheard by: laughing

Posted on June 29, 2016
Age and ageing, Australia, Default, Family ties, Money, Questions, Women

Well, I'm Sorry I Made You Kiss Her Feet…

New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger's gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell's wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about?

Train
Dublin
Ireland

Posted on June 12, 2016
Compare and contrast, Couples, Feelings, Foreigners, Hands, Health & Hygiene, Ireland, Money, On the phone, Questions, Relationships, Train

There’s None of That Coming Out of My Penis, Though

Dude: I want to give you a baby.
Chick: I don’t want a baby, I just want rent.

Bayswater
Australia

Posted on May 1, 2016
Australia, Couples, Money