Names

Black man, approaching black woman wrapped in garments with only her eyes visible: Salam Aleikum.
Woman: I'm not Muslim, muthafucka, I'm cold!

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Michael

Little boy in coffee shop: Mom, I want it, I want it, I want it!
Mom: Shhh, Joshua! Santa Claus is watching!
Little boy: Mom! Santa Claus is not watching!

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Hot girl #1: That’s so sad.
Hot girl #2: Yeah, that’s so sad.
Hot girl #1: I used to date him.
Hot girl #2: Me, too.
Hot girl #1, fondly: Ruben, the one-eyed gimp.

Princeton, New Jersey

Little girl #1: This is my imaginary friend Helen.
Little girl #2: I have a girl named Lucy!
Little boy: I have a pair of scissors. Named… Mr. Scissors.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Dude #1: Dude, did you just call Jesus a fag?
Dude #2: I did.

Billings, Montana

Overheard by: he really did

Pre-school teacher #1: Which kids do you want in your group today?
Pre-school teacher #2: Oh, I don’t really care. Just not Monica*. I cant stand her.
Pre-school teacher #1: Yeah, I know. It’s like it’s her period every friggin’ day!
Pre-school teacher #2: Yeah, she’s such a little frigid bitch!

New York City, New York

Overheard by: first day on the job

Guy: Jesus puked in your car?

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/06/last-supper.html

Overheard by: rich

Random guy: I came out of the womb at Sonny's Bar-BQ!

Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: heidi

Professor: See, humans have what Aristotle calls “rational souls,” meaning we use intellect. Humans ask questions that other living things can't, like “what is god? What is the divine problem? Where are my Nunchuks? Where did I leave them?”

Philosophy Class, UC
Santa Barbara, California

Greek girlfriend: She misses you baby.
English boyfriend: Hm?
Greek girlfriend: She misses you.
English boyfriend: Who misses me?
Greek girlfriend: Helena.
English boyfriend: Who's Helena?
Greek girlfriend: My vagina, baby.
Indian guy at table: You named your snatch Helena?! Really? You named your vagina?
Greek girlfriend: Sure, don't you have a name for your dick?
Indian guy and English boyfriend, at same time: No.
Greek girlfriend: I've always thought of your dick as being called Errol, baby.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep