Names

Telemarketer: Hi, is Mr. Sa– Sama– Samata–
Guy: Go ahead. You can do it.
Telemarketer: Sama– Samthan– Sermana–
Guy: You mean Mr. [says name]?
Telemarketer: Yes, is Mr. [repeats name] available?
Guy: Nope, sorry [hangs up phone].

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: amused girlfriend

Confused junkie: There were these two Jewish guys called Gold and Frankenstein, and they gave Jesus a mirror.

Box Hill Central
Melbourne
Australia

Elderly woman #1: And all her chinaware was Royal Worcester!
Elderly woman #2, looking shocked: No! Really? You wouldn't tell by looking at her, would you?
Elderly woman #1, shaking head: No, you would not.

Rural Staffordshire
England

White construction worker: What was the name of Speedy Gonzales’ cousin? The slow one…
Mexican construction worker: Why?
White construction worker: Because I want to start calling you that…

Hamilton Street
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/too-stupid-to-be-racist.html

Overheard by: slowpoke rodriguez

We Heart Zippy Unironically

Teen prep: Shell is a lot more expensive than GetGo these days. (later) I'm missing a lifetime movie right now!
Father: She's like Zippy the Pinhead!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Shoppy

Guy to cab driver: I just want to go where nobody knows my name.
Cab driver: You mean Cheers, “where everybody knows your name”?
Guy: No.

Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts

Drunk brunette: I'm so ready! I wanna fuck! I mean, you and Ryan* fuck! All the time! I know you do!
Sober blonde: Please don't ever say that again.
Drunk brunette: Fine, prude! You and Ryan* make loooove all the time, right?!
Sober blonde: Could you please just say “have sex”? This is so weird.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: i*agree

Six-year-old boy: Hey, look at this piece of bamboo!
Eight-year-old brother, taking bamboo, hiding it behind his back and then brandishing it like a staff: And now, with my mermaid magic, I pronounce you Sir Giraffetail! Ahoy!
Six-year-old boy: What?

Indianapolis Zoo
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Emily and Aaron

Theater professor: In Shakespeare's plays, SpongeBob would die.

Wayne State University
Detroit, Michigan

Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don’t we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?

Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: drunkbigirls