Girl #1: I wish we had the same size feet.
Girl #2: Well, it's your fault.
Girl #1: How is it my fault? It's not like one day I woke up and was like, “yo Jesus, make my feet three sizes bigger than my sister's.”
Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: greg
Professor: Sorry, I think I just gave a few of you post-traumatic Chaucer disorder.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Roller girl: Whoa! That's a vagina you could accidentally fist.
Yonkers, New York
Wife: Oh, my cousin Danielle just had her baby!
Husband: You have a cousin Danielle?
Mount Vernon, New York
Guy #1: So, ‘viticulture’ — that’s Latin, right?
Guy #2: Well, Latin is a dead language, so it doesn’t count.
Guy #3: You’re a dead language.
Guy #4: Your mother’s a whore.
Culinary Institute of America
Hyde Park, New York
Overheard by: just a student
Female Mets fan: I’d let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.
Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York
Overheard by: aaron
Confused attractive hipster: I don't understand why he became progressively more Asian during my dream.
Amused friend #1: You don't have to.
Amused friend #2: Because you're pretty.
Manhattan, New York
Student during modern world history class: Well I think the clit would be a good place to go now.
USMMA
Kings Point, New York
Vegetarian, pointing to pink thing on her plate: What animal is that?
Waitress: That's a pear.
Mt. Vernon, New York
Overheard by: Deek
