The Best Part Is, They've Trademarked That Name

Friendly waitress, serious: Would you like to order a happy ending?

Lycoming Mall
Pennsdale, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: DazedinPA

Posted on September 17, 2018
Baristas, Death & dying, Drinking & drunks, Happiness, Malls, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Words

Portrait of the Social Worker As a Young Girl

Eight-year-old girl standing on shopping carriage to mother 15 feet away: Do not leave your child unattended! (slight pause) Mom! Get over here!

Wal-Mart
Seabrook, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Amanda

Posted on September 14, 2018
Default, Girls, Gripes, Kids, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, Parenting, Stores

Riverdale Hasn't Been the Same Since Archie Went Off the Rails

Teenage girl #1: I mean, what's the point of dating an ugly, short, junior with herpes and acne if he doesn't even have his learner's permit?
Teenage girl #2: Shut up and eat.

Shari's Restaurant
Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on September 8, 2018
Age and ageing, Beauty, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Oregon, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants, STDs, Teens

Raise Your Hand If You Know a Football Player Who Died Of a Heart Attack or Stroke

Football player #1: What are you getting?
Football player #2: I think I'm gonna get four hot dogs.
Football player #1: Dude! You're only supposed to eat three a week! It's like…the sodium or something. Three hot dogs have all the sodium you're supposed to have in a week.
Football player #2: You're fucking retarded! I'm getting four hot dogs and I'm gonna eat all four of them in their sodium goodness. Watch me.

Dining Hall, Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on September 5, 2018
Colleges & Universities, Default, Food, Guys, Indiana, Insults, Offers and requests, Questions, Stupidity

The EMTs Can Just Pull Him Out From Under It

Preppy Asian chick on cell: I don't care if he's dying. I'm not going to move my car from a parking spot.

University of Tennessee

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on August 7, 2018
Asians, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, On the phone, Preppies, Weirdness

Xanax?

Young female yuppie to friend: You really might have to calm me down. I haven't been in a mall in a long time.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: samantha

Posted on July 16, 2018
Advice, Default, Feelings, Girls, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, Yuppies

Fine– Just Don't Wake Me

Guy to drunk girl at a party, whispering loudly: Will you have sex with me?
Drunk girl: No.
Guy: Please?
Drunk girl: No.
Guy: Aww…come on!

Omaha, Nebraska

Posted on July 7, 2018
Default, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Nebraska, Offers and requests, Questions, Sex

If You Can't Stand the Heat, Stay Out Of Michaels

Motorist at detour: What do you mean I have to go around? I can't go around! What's going on?
Frustrated firefighter: Fire Department activity sir.
Motorist: What kind of Fire Department activity?
Frustrated firefighter: Arts and crafts, sir. Move along.

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Overheard by: Pokey

Posted on July 6, 2018
Default, Employees, Names, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Questions, Words

And Your Left Water Wing Just Fell Out

Woman to man carrying giant innertube: You have to return that to the tube hut. Ha! You have a tube hut in your pants!
Man: I don’t even know what that means.

Swimming Pool
Gardner, Kansas

Posted on June 11, 2018
Default, Euphemisms, Guys, Kansas, Offers and requests, Women, Words

I've Already Gotten You to Cave on Drugs and Rock N' Roll

Older black man: You love sex! You do! Just admit it!
Young black guy: I won't admit it!
Older black guy: Yes you will! Yes you will!

Fremont Street
Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on May 7, 2018
Black people, Default, Feelings, Guys, Nevada, Offers and requests, Old folks, Sex

Offers and requests