Well, That Self-Actualization Seminar Was a Bust

Nine year-old girl: I want that shirt and you are going to get it for me. Any questions?
Mom: Many. Shut up and put the damn shirt back.

Target
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on April 14, 2016
Clothes, Default, Etiquette, Family ties, Georgia, Gifts, Girls, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Shopping, Stores, Wishes

But This Time You'd Better Not Force Your Brother to Eat It

Eight-year-old boy: Hey dad, can I get deodorant?
Father: Uh, sure.
Eight-year-old boy: Yesssss!

A&P Supermarket
Totowa, New Jersey

Posted on March 11, 2016
Dads, Happiness, Kids, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Parenting, Stores

If You're Forging, Try to Spell His Name Correctly This Time

Professor: No, pondering eternal truths is not a good excuse for missing my class…I'd need a signed note from god.

Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: JQ

Posted on March 8, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, God, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Teachers

America, Encapsulated.

Sorority chick #1: Hey, you know there’s Bible study in my room at eight tonight?
Sorority chick #2: Hmmm, eight? Okay, I guess I can come.
Sorority chick #1: And then we can go get wasted!

Ladies’ locker room, University of Tennessee
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: New Yorker

Posted on March 1, 2016
Christianity, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Offers and requests, Sorority types, Tennessee

We Care About Different Bears

Guy with clipboard: Do you have a minute for human rights?
Guy walking by: No. (pause) Wait, did you say humans rights?
Guy with clipboard: Yes.
Guy walking by: Oh, I thought you were one of those crazy environmentalist people.
Guy with clipboard: No, we're crazy gay rights people.

University of Colorado, Boulder

Overheard by: Violentvixen

Posted on February 29, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Offers and requests, Office politics, Questions, Sexuality

Dear Skanky Girl– Call Me — Love, Dave

Skanky girl sitting at outdoor lunch table: I wanna have sex on the bleachers, I wanna have sex in the classrooms, I wanna have sex in the principal's office, I wanna have sex in the teacher's lounge…

High School
Missouri

Overheard by: Jacob

Posted on February 27, 2016
Default, Education, Girls, Missouri, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex

And Stop Shimmying Up That Pole

Mom in bathroom stall: Okay Michael, come on, you have to pee.
Son: Mom, I don't wanna play games with you!
Mom: What is wrong with you? At least put your clothes back on if you're not going to pee!

Tempe, Arizona

Posted on February 26, 2016
Arizona, Default, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Pee

Pity Hillary and Obama Can't Be Civil

Lady, bumping into man: What? You're so in a rush you have to knock me down?!
Man: Sorry, I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Lady: Watch where you're going!
Man: Please leave me alone!
Lady: No! You leave me alone!

Metro
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Jim