Instructor to swim class: Okay, who can tell me one thing we can wear to protect ourselves from the sun?
Three-year-old boy, after much thought: Teeth!
YMCA
Easton, Pennsylvania
Instructor to swim class: Okay, who can tell me one thing we can wear to protect ourselves from the sun?
Three-year-old boy, after much thought: Teeth!
YMCA
Easton, Pennsylvania
Girl #1: I wish there were swing sets at college.
Girl #2: I know. Spain better have swing sets.
Girl #1: For when you're abroad?
Girl #2: No, just in general.
Claremont, California
Overheard by: swinging
Terrifyingly cheerful woman, handing out christian pamphlets at bus stop: Hello! Would you like something to read on the bus?
Girl, already reading large book: I'm, uh…I'm already…
Crazy looking hobo, scoffing and muttering to girl: People can be insane.
Los Angeles, California
Chick: I was in your area during lunch and thought about asking you to meet me for a quickie.
Dude: What the fuck? And you didn't, because…?
Chick: I had to drive some coworkers back to the city. Wasn't sure what to do with them while we copulated.
Dude: Do what my parents did, sit them down in front of the tv, turn on Sesame Street and turn it up!
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania
Anatomy professor, turning up lights: Wake up, it's the male reproductive system! How many times have you heard that before? (class laughter) Hopefully not many times before.
UNC
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Little boy: Mommy, if a turtle has no shell is it naked or homeless?
Mother: It would be dead, sweetheart.
Little boy: That's sad, mommy.
Mother: No, it isn't, dear. Come on, this is our stop.
Metro
Washington, DC
Woman walking Corgi shouting to woman walking King Charles Spaniel: He wants to meet a licky dog.
Brookline, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Aunt Kelly
Chick: How can free will and divine preordination coexist?
Dude: Smack da shit out dat ho?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Professor to unmoving grad students: That's a fire alarm…pay no attention.
Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey
Three-year-old: Pick me up some cigarettes! I need a smoke!
Dad: What did you just say!?
Kansas
