We've Given the Bin Ladens Enough, Sir

Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you…because I am Osama Bin Laden.

Starbucks
New York City, New York

Posted on April 20, 2009
Character, Crazies, Death & dying, Default, Employees, Foreigners, Names, New York, Offers and requests, Restaurants, Threats, Weirdness

A Small But Important Distinction.

Daughter, about cousin: Does he want to give me a ride?
Dad: No, he wants you to ride him.

North Canton, Ohio

Posted on April 17, 2009
Dads, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Ohio, Questions, Words

While the Dean Is Out Of Town on His Grinding and Shimmying Tour

Undergrad student: Where are the nursing faculty?
University secretary: Pumping.

College
Missouri

Overheard by: rami

Posted on April 17, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Missouri, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Weirdness, Words

The Difference Between Swedish and American Universities

Professor: We must go out and procreate!

Swedish History Class
Uppsala University
Sweden

Overheard by: Amused Exchange Student

Posted on April 17, 2009
Class, Default, Offers and requests, Sex, Sweden, Teachers, Weirdness

But She Just Wanted to Take My Lunch Order

Male student: I mean, I thought she wanted me to cum on her tummy!

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Alice Haefeli

Posted on April 14, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Cum, Default, Guys, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Stomach, Students

And Playing with Myself a Little

Pilot, during severely delayed flight: This is your pilot speaking, no word from air traffic control, but I just wanted to let you know…that I'm thinking of all of you.

Runway
Miami International Airport, Florida

Overheard by: Chelsea

Posted on April 12, 2009
Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Offers and requests, Pilots, Public transportation, Weirdness, Words

Choking to Death on Carbon Emissions Is a Masculine Rite Of Passage

Guy #1: Are you going to get a Prius?
Guy #2: Nah, I want a car with balls, not an environmentally friendly vagina.

Sunnyvale, California

Overheard by: GameCat

Posted on April 11, 2009
Balls, California, Default, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Technology, Vagina

And Then People Will Comprehendify You.

Husband: Yeah, I think that's because of the…the…
Wife: The what? Spit it out!
Husband: I know, I've been having so much trouble lately coming up with the appropriate word for what I'm trying to say.
Wife: Yeah, that's your problem. You just need to be able to think of what you need to say in advance so you can articulize it.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: King Dubby

Posted on April 11, 2009
Canadia, Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Words

Ben Franklin Was a Tough Kid to Raise

Little boy at ice cream parlor: Uh…can I have um, little gummy bears?
Impatient dad: Oh, that's great. You invented something the store doesn't have.

Westchester, New York

Overheard by: Griffin

Posted on April 6, 2009
Candy, Dads, Default, Guys, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Stores

The Back Of the Shelves?

Black student: Where's the ethnic section?
White librarian: The what?
Black student: The ethnic section…you know, where all the books by black people are.
White librarian: We don't have an ethnic section, dear. You'll have to browse the shelves.

Longview College, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on April 2, 2009
Black people, Books, Colleges & Universities, Default, Missouri, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, Students

Offers and requests