And Playing with Myself a Little

Pilot, during severely delayed flight: This is your pilot speaking, no word from air traffic control, but I just wanted to let you know…that I'm thinking of all of you.

Runway
Miami International Airport, Florida

Overheard by: Chelsea

Posted on April 12, 2009
Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Offers and requests, Pilots, Public transportation, Weirdness, Words

Choking to Death on Carbon Emissions Is a Masculine Rite Of Passage

Guy #1: Are you going to get a Prius?
Guy #2: Nah, I want a car with balls, not an environmentally friendly vagina.

Sunnyvale, California

Overheard by: GameCat

Posted on April 11, 2009
Balls, California, Default, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Technology, Vagina

And Then People Will Comprehendify You.

Husband: Yeah, I think that's because of the…the…
Wife: The what? Spit it out!
Husband: I know, I've been having so much trouble lately coming up with the appropriate word for what I'm trying to say.
Wife: Yeah, that's your problem. You just need to be able to think of what you need to say in advance so you can articulize it.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: King Dubby

Posted on April 11, 2009
Canadia, Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Words

Ben Franklin Was a Tough Kid to Raise

Little boy at ice cream parlor: Uh…can I have um, little gummy bears?
Impatient dad: Oh, that's great. You invented something the store doesn't have.

Westchester, New York

Overheard by: Griffin

Posted on April 6, 2009
Candy, Dads, Default, Guys, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Stores

The Back Of the Shelves?

Black student: Where's the ethnic section?
White librarian: The what?
Black student: The ethnic section…you know, where all the books by black people are.
White librarian: We don't have an ethnic section, dear. You'll have to browse the shelves.

Longview College, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on April 2, 2009
Black people, Books, Colleges & Universities, Default, Missouri, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, Students

Who Had Means, Motive and Opportunity?

Foreign dressing room attendant, opening all stall doors: It stinks in here! Who pooped? Someone pooped in here, and I'm gonna find it. Where is the poop? Who did it?

Ross
Melbourne, Florida

Posted on March 31, 2009
Default, Employees, Florida, Foreigners, Offers and requests, Poop, Questions

Back in My Day, It Wasn't a Race Without at Least a Little Mooing

Man to daughter entering race: So, do you have to quack while you run, or…how does that work?

4th of July Parade
Brighton, Michigan

Overheard by: Tonya

Posted on March 31, 2009
Dads, Default, Games, Guys, Michigan, Offers and requests, Questions

They're a Bit Behind the Curve

Girl shouting across room to guy at soda fountain: Hey Doug*! Hey, Doug! Come over there, they want to hear your song about buttsex!

Montevallo, Alabama

Posted on March 23, 2009
Alabama, Ass, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Sex

Since My First Name Is “Whatta”

Blonde chick to guy friend: Oh my god, so last night the bouncer made me pull out like three pieces of ID because he didn't believe my last name is “Pansy.”

Guelph
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: sarah

Posted on March 18, 2009
Canadia, Default, Girls, God, Names, Offers and requests

Let's Milk This Country for All It's Worth!

Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!

Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California

Posted on March 14, 2009
California, Default, Food, Foreigners, Geography, Guys, Offers and requests, Tourist attractions

Offers and requests