Loud guy on cell: Where you at? Did you make the stop? He went to jail yesterday? What? What time did you get locked up? Damn!
McDonald’s, Illinois Center
Chicago, Illinois
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
For the Last Time, It Was a Freak Welding Accident!
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That’s not gay. (pause) It’s not gay when “turning out the lights” means putting your hands over my eyes while we’re test-driving a car that’s worth more than your sister’s gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
The Kids Flock to Her Slumber Parties for Her Mom’s Brownies
Chick on cell: Yeah, mom, listen: I’m trying to buy some weed. Yeah, I’ll call you back if I get any. Okay, love you too. Bye.
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrienne
I Mean, I Am, but That’s Neither Here Nor There
Black lady on cell: I said, ‘Yeah, I’m black, but dat don’ mean I be makin’ counterfeit money!’
Food Lion
Sanford, North Carolina
Overheard by: Elizabeth
I Apologize for Leaving My Pyrex in Your Dishwasher
Girl on cell: No, Mom, you don’t understand! The sex toy party was a lot of fun! They just had some great stuff there, okay?
College bus
Allendale, Michigan
So Now the Cheese Stands Alone
Girl on cell: ’cause I kinda cut off my balls…
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: she didn’t look trannyish
I Don’t Care If You Are My Grandma.
Man on cell: What? You calling me fat pussy? I will punch you in the face!
Boston, Massachusetts
The U.N. Delegates Have This Problem All the Time.
Smokin’ hot gay guy on phone: I bought the table under the impression that it was fuck-proof. My husband challenged me last night to prove otherwise. Now my table has been fucked through and Mark* isn’t talking to me right now. (pause) Yeah, it does sound like a funny problem to have, but it’s really not.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The Sauce
Spoken Like Someone Who’s Never Seen Mr. Wrong
Teen girl on cell: Cuz you’re not a lesbian fan, and I like lesbians. They’re funny.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/329239609/their-traveling-lesbian-circus-is-the-best.html
Overheard by: um…
When One Partner Wants to Have “The Talk,” It Just Fucking Happens
Man on cell on train: No, I told you nothing’s wrong, I’m just tired. (very long pause) No, nothing’s wrong. We don’t need to have a talk. (long pause) No, I told you, nothing’s wrong. I’m on the train. (very long pause, then annoyed) Do you want to make that pasta tonight? That sounds like fun.
Chicago, Illinois
