Nobody Can Do Sexual Harassment Like the Insane

Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.

Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 7, 2021
Ass, BJs, Compare and contrast, Crazies, Default, Employees, Insults, Offers and requests, Penis, Pennsylvania, Public transportation, Questions, Sex, Vagina, Weirdness, Women

I Don't Want To Know What the “Bread” Was

Girl on cell: His thing…it was like a big lamb sandwich!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/07/we-call-it-beastilicious.html

Overheard by: aaron

Posted on February 5, 2021
Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Girls, On the phone, Overheard in PDX, Penis, Sexuality, Weirdness

Oh, Right: “I'm a Smoker Now.”

Guy #1: Dude, how do you blow smoke rings!
Guy #2 jokingly: It is the same as sucking dick.
Guy #1: Oh, okay! (blows smoke rings effortlessly)
Guy #2: Do you need to tell me something, man?

Hookah Bar
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Posted on January 15, 2021
Bars & Clubs, BJs, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Guys, Penis, Questions, Sexuality, Smoking

Stick Something Weird in Your Penis, Then

20-something girl: If I had a penis I wouldn't know what to do with it. Awkward.
20-something guy: If I had a vagina I'd stick all kinds of weird stuff in it all the time!

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: akvinsc

Posted on January 14, 2021
Girls, Guys, Penis, Utah, Vagina, Weirdness

We Thought We'd Give Him Something to Make Him Extra Hyper

Five-year-old boy to barista: I'm getting my pee-pee cut off tomorrow so I get a treat today!
Barista: Umm…
Mother to child: You are being circumcised, not mutilated! (to barista) It's just a medical thing, he doesn't really get it.

Starbucks
Carmel, Indiana

Posted on November 25, 2020
Baristas, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, Kids, Moms, Penis, Restaurants

The R&B Hit That's Sweeping Wisconsin

Man in crowd of bar patrons leaving after last call, singing: It's ti-ime for the pizza store, it's ti-ime for the pizza store… I don't even care where we go, I just got to get some cheese on my dick. I'm just gonna stick it in. I'm serious, let's go, get that in an oven and roast it. Let's get it in an oven… and roast it like a cherry tomato.

Madison, Wisconsin