20-something girl: If I had a penis I wouldn't know what to do with it. Awkward.
20-something guy: If I had a vagina I'd stick all kinds of weird stuff in it all the time!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: akvinsc
20-something girl: If I had a penis I wouldn't know what to do with it. Awkward.
20-something guy: If I had a vagina I'd stick all kinds of weird stuff in it all the time!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: akvinsc
Five-year-old boy to barista: I'm getting my pee-pee cut off tomorrow so I get a treat today!
Barista: Umm…
Mother to child: You are being circumcised, not mutilated! (to barista) It's just a medical thing, he doesn't really get it.
Starbucks
Carmel, Indiana
Man in crowd of bar patrons leaving after last call, singing: It's ti-ime for the pizza store, it's ti-ime for the pizza store… I don't even care where we go, I just got to get some cheese on my dick. I'm just gonna stick it in. I'm serious, let's go, get that in an oven and roast it. Let's get it in an oven… and roast it like a cherry tomato.
Madison, Wisconsin
Chick to friend: I really thought the chocolate Jesus with the giant dick would sell!
Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Carri Jo
Twenty-something dude: When I grow up, and learn how to play an instrument, I’m calling my band he-gina and she-nis.
McKenna’s
Baltimore, Maryland
Girl: I saw two penises on Saturday.
Outside Airport, Yellowknife
Northwest Territories
Canadia
College girl to three friends, completely serious: Yeah, I guess his penis had epilepsy or something.
College Dining Hall
Pennsylvania
Professor: So Russia had this really phallus-oriented system of government…
University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Neal Patrick Harris lookalike: Okay, okay: no pickle dicks on Molly!
Albuquerque, New Mexico
