Penis

How Do You Think the Lollipop Guild Got Their Name?

Girl #1: So my computer is dead, and I don't know how to fix it.
Girl #2: What do you think is wrong with it?
Girl #1: It's got a virus. But it was totally worth it.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah? Why?
Girl #1: Well, Mary* and I were curious and wanted to know if midgets' dicks are normal-sized or midget-sized, so we were looking up midget porn.
Girl #2: And the verdict is?
Girl #1: They're normal-sized. This one guy was seriously a tripod. It's incredible.
Male bartender: Yeah, I can see how that would be worth a completely devastating virus on your computer. Can you write down the website you found it on?

Killarney's Pub
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Something Approximately the Size Of a Baby Carrot

Old lady: I'm not very hungry, I'm gonna have something small.
Old man: If you wanted something small, we would have stayed at home and I would have given you something small.

Lester's Diner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

If One More Person Asks Me That Today…

Tween: Should I get Fanta or cock?

Perth, Washington

Overheard by: shocked older sister.

All You Gaywads Must Be Jealous

Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.

High school
Utah

Knowing What That Is Is Like a Rorshach for Nerdity

Student: Somebody drew a triforce in the bathroom.
Teacher: There’s a penis in the hall and now a triforce in the bathroom?

English Class
Arcadia, California

Overheard by: Sam

Actually…

Psychology instructor: If you look at the castle in The Little Mermaid, you'll see there are some phallic subliminal messages…
Student in the back row: It's a giant penis castle!

Psychology Class, Northwestern University
Illinois

That's So 1995.

Teen girl: Dad, stop talking about Hugh Grant's penis!

Concord, Massachusetts

I Think I Just Shot a Blank

Kid #1: This was the thing that made your penis hurt.
Kid #2: That was when I was littler.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: diana

Naturally, It’s Huge

Young mom, looking disgusted at a paparazzi photo of Pamela Anderson: That’s disgusting.
Four-year-old son: What?
Young mom: Honey, what’s wrong with this picture?
Four-year-old son: I can see her penis.

Bowling Alley
Indiana

Overheard by: Aunt Oblivious

Nobody Can Do Sexual Harassment Like the Insane

Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.

Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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