But We Honor Him Every Time I Buy You a Lap Dance for Your Birthday

Mom tourist: We're going to go see the Washington Monument, do you know who it's named for?
Son tourist: Yes, our first President, George Washington
Mom tourist: That's right. (pause) He's dead now.

Washington, DC

Posted on August 2, 2015
Death & dying, Family, History, Moms, Names, Questions, Stupidity, Tourists, Washington, DC

God: Suddenly I’m Getting All the Attention I Deserve

Professor, whispering: What is god doing with female breasts?

Oglethorpe University
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Caylin

Posted on August 1, 2015
Body parts, Class, Education, Georgia, God, Questions, Sexuality, Teachers, Weirdness

A Damsel in Distress Can Count on a Guy Peeing on Her

Teen girl #1: I wish a jellyfish would sting me so some handsome guy would run along the beach, whip out his dick and pee on me.
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: To neutralize the sting, dumbass.
Teen girl #2: I know that. But still: what?

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on August 1, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Health & Hygiene, Insults, Kink, Pee, Penis, Questions, Teens, Weirdness, Wishes

Obviously Not

Student #1: I have to go to class.
Student #2: Which one?
Student #1: Quantum physics.
Student #2: Is that where you go back in time to set right what once went wrong?

Georgia Southern University

Overheard by: Sydney

Posted on August 1, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Georgia, Questions, Science, Students, Stupidity

She Has Everything I've Always Wanted, and a Little Something More

Suit on cell: Oh, did I tell you I met someone? (pause) Her name is Brian.

Civic Center Farmer's Market
San Francisco, California

Posted on August 1, 2015
California, Default, Names, On the phone, Queers, Questions, Sexuality, Stores, Suits

This Would Explain a Lot About Our Foreign Policy

Boyfriend: I couldn't get a new movie. The good ones were all out. I got this other one, though. The guy told me it was really good.
Girlfriend: What's the name of it?
Boyfriend: Just Cuz!
Girlfriend, looking at jacket: You mean Just Cause?

Norwich, Connecticut

Posted on August 1, 2015
Connecticut, Couples, Movies, Names, Questions

Because I Sure Do, As Those of You Who Are My Facebook Friends Know

Physics professor: What do you do to amuse yourselves? You don't play with yourselves?

Guelph
Canadia

Posted on August 1, 2015
Canadia, Default, Feelings, Leisure, Masturbation, Questions, Teachers, Words

As Evidenced by the Last Election

Metro cop addressing large crowd waiting for the orange line: Keep moving down the platform. Move down, please!
Tired tourist mom: Move down, honey.
Little girl: Why?
Tired tourist mom: Because we're sheep, that's why.

Smithsonian Station, DC Metro
Washington, DC

Posted on July 31, 2015
Animals, Cops, Default, Family ties, Girls, Kids, Moms, Public transportation, Questions, Tourists, Washington, DC

Here, I Brought Some to Share With You

Laughing girl: So I was smelling his dirty socks and stuff…
Friends: What?!

Acadia University
Wolfville, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: wondering why…

Posted on July 31, 2015
Canadia, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Girls, Questions, Weirdness

And How Do I Get That Job?

Woman on cell, after next bus stop is announced: Did you hear that? The woman giving the announcement? It's the same woman every time. I wonder where she is.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Posted on July 30, 2015
Eavesdrop DC, On the phone, Public transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Women

Questions