Old man: I recently had surgery. What was it I had removed? Something that starts with a ‘P’…
Old lady: Was it your pancreas?
Old man: No… It wasn’t my penis, either, because I definitely still have that.
L.L. Bean Outlet
Wareham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Amanda
Student #1: So what do you think, eh?
Student #2: Are you Canadian?
Student #1: Why in the world are you asking me that? Is it because I said “eh”?
Student #2: Well, yeah.
Student #1: That is a total misconception! Not all Canadians end sentences with the word “eh”! I can't believe you think that!
Student #2: (thinking it over) So are you?
Student #1: Canadian? Yes.
Wabash
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Laughing as I pass
Chick #1: About 20 minutes is good enough.
Chick #2: But what about the pleasure part?
Colby College, Maine
Overheard by: they stopped talking when they saw me listening
Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone's butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.
Portland, Oregon
Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it's a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j-j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That's only for guys. And in the Amazon!
Redding, California
Customer, browsing selection of charm bracelets: Do you have any Nazi charm bracelets? My daughter loves that stuff!
Craft vendor: Uh…no.
Craft Show
San Diego, California
Bus 20 operator to dispatch: Yeah, there are a lot of warning signals on that I’ve never seen before. Should I be worried?
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: the blankenships
Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That's disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?
Bus Stop
San Diego, California
(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn't meant to be faithful. We're all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I'll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.
Bookstore
Ocala, Florida
