Let’s Just Say She’s in Shape

Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She’s 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn’t answer my question.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on February 17, 2021
Age and ageing, Beauty, Chicks, Colorado, Family ties, Guys, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

No! Haven't You Been Listening?

Lady 1: So they're getting married now.
Lady 2: But I thought she had a baby.
Lady 1: Yes, but it's his brother's. See, her sister wanted to be with him so she told him her sister couldn't have normal children. It turns out she's the one who can't have children.
Lady 2: Oh… so they're getting married?

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Confused listener

Posted on February 16, 2021
Birthing, Family ties, Kids, Questions, Relationships, Stupidity, Utah, Women

Eh, Christians Say Yes; Jews Say Hell, No

Blonde student to teacher: Is the New Testament in the Torah?

Edmonton
Canadia

Posted on February 15, 2021
Canadia, Default, Girls, Questions, Religion, Students, Stupidity

That's What I Got You Last Year

Drunk male friend: What do you want for your birthday, baby? I can make it happen, just tell me what you want!
Really, really drunk birthday girl, pointing at someone else: I want in that guy's pants!

Norfolk, Virginia

Posted on February 11, 2021
Clothes, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Friends, Gifts, Girls, Questions, Sex, Virginia, Wishes

Playing Chess? Really?

Girl on cell: Wait, how exactly did you manage to pull your ass muscle?

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/04/do-they-offer-class-on-that.html

Overheard by:

Posted on February 10, 2021
On the phone, Overheard in the Valley, Questions

And They Were Like, “Now We Can All Poke Without Passing Around Chlamydia!”

Girl: My friends are always saying I need to make a Facebook page and I'm like, “Why? I talk to you a-holes enough already!”

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/416332366/so-you-can-send-me-gifts-you-spent-a-dollar-on.html

Overheard by: sleeping on the job

Posted on February 9, 2021
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Internet, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions

Still, Nobody Better Lay a Finger on My Buttfingerer

Teenage girl to friend: And then he stuck his finger up my butt, and said “Oh, yeah, do you like that, babe?”
Friend: See, there you go. If you don't sit a guy down and tell him not to go up your butt, he will. Look at you, you're butt-fingered.

Subway Store
Maitland
Australia

Posted on February 7, 2021
Ass, Australia, Body parts, Default, Friends, Girls, Questions, Sex, Stores, Teens, Words

Africans: Wow, They're Fat Monsters and Stupid

Brunette: I wish I could speak those sweet African languages.
Blonde: What sweet African languages?
Brunette: Ya know, the ones where they cluck at each other. Cluck cluck clickity clack cluck.
Blonde: Yeah! I know what you mean. Clack clack cluck cluck click cluck clacky clack. (laughs)
Brunette, laughing: I bet they just make stuff up!
Blonde: Yeah, dude! Clack clack clickity clacky clack clack cluck! AKA, wanna go get some cow…meat?
Brunette, laughing: You're retarded. I don't think anyone in Africa says shit like that.

Michigan