Suit: So yeah, I found out how my boss's boss takes his tea, and I took him a cup this morning, along with a muffin.
Non-suit: And did you remember to take a napkin to wipe his feces from your nose?
London
England
Overheard by: Eastender
Suit: So yeah, I found out how my boss's boss takes his tea, and I took him a cup this morning, along with a muffin.
Non-suit: And did you remember to take a napkin to wipe his feces from your nose?
London
England
Overheard by: Eastender
Girl to friend: You know what I was thinking? We always say girls who get pregnant are white trash. But I really thought about this, and we have sex. We could get pregnant. You're not white trash!
College
New Jersey
Mother: What time do you need to get up tomorrow?
Teen daughter: 8.30.
Mother: Well, I'm going to be leaving a little before that.
Teen daughter, offhandedly: “Wake me up/before you go-go.”
Mother: I will kill you.
Aurora, Colorado
Loud smoking kid: Man, I gotta help out at vacation bible school next week.
Girl: Why?
Loud smoking kid: I promised Zach I would if I wasn't in jail.
Sewanee, Tennessee
Wife: Oh, my cousin Danielle just had her baby!
Husband: You have a cousin Danielle?
Mount Vernon, New York
Girl: Yeah…after he got out of prison he moved back in with us. He was always flirting with me and once tried to make out with me.
Guy: Ummmmmm, did you tell your mom?
Girl: No, I didn't mind, I thought he was cute.
Jeffersonville, Indiana
Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don’t we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?
Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: drunkbigirls
Girl to friend: And then he said “do you like diapers with your bangers and mash?”
After Trax
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: I know you're watching
Girl: Mister, what’s that?
Teacher: That is an air purifier.
Girl: A what?
Teacher: An air purifier.
Girl: That’s crazy, what yo need an air purifier for?
Teacher: To get the pollen out of the air.
Girl: What’s pollen?
Teacher: Well, when trees have sex, they release pollen into the air.
Girl: You mean I am breathing in tree jizz!? [Shudders in repulsion at the thought.][Whole class laughs.]
High School
Austin, Texas
Guy to girl: So, do you call him “camp” for short?
Girl dead seriously: No, I call him master. He is my boyfriend, you know.
English Class
Tampa, Florida
