Relationships

The Episode Of MacGuyver I'd Pay to See

Weird lady getting her hair cut: The nail just wouldn't stay down on my toe. So because it was all loose, junk kept getting in there. The doctor basically told me that junk would just keep getting in there.
Stylist: Wow!
(a minute later)
Weird lady getting her hair cut: If I could have one of those guys do my wedding, I'd be all like, “here's a doily and a paper cup, see what you can do.”
Stylist: Yeah.
Weird lady getting her hair cut: I mean if you can't have a bangin wedding in Puerto Rico, you might as well see what you can get from a doily and a paper cup here.
Stylist: Yeah.

Supercuts
Pennsylvania

An Inflatable Friend

Old guy to friend: He got a new girl who works in the sex industry… and you know his fantasy has always been two women. I told him it'd never happen, but apparently it did. His girl has a friend who was willing to play along…

Holland, Michigan

I Think He’s Getting Ready to Say, “I Love You”

Chick #1: So, you guys might move in together?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: I didn’t know you were that serious.
Chick #2: Well, I had his abortion, so yeah, I guess we’re pretty serious.

http://overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com/2006/07/you-had-hiswhat.html

I'm Like, “Look at All These Dishes– What's Your Problem?”

Drunk 40-year-old dude #1, standing in line for the bathroom: Well, there are four sinks. We only need two with the number of people I've seen wash their hands.
Drunk 40-year-old dude #2: Yeah. There was this one time I was peeing in the sink at home, and my wife walked in. She was pissed. Good times.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/373685741/why-do-people-think-this-is-okay.html

Overheard by: slight overshare

Well It Works in Her Favor!

Girl: I'm hanging out with Claire today, that's why I can't stay later.
Guy: Is Claire the one with the awesome accent?
Girl: She has a speech impediment.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Leonard

There's Never a Truce in the Trench Warfare Between the Sexes

Older lady to complete strangers: So the last guy I dated, all he wanted was sex! We were on the beach and we passed a trench, and he was like “I'll put you in that hole!”

Escondido, California

I'm Glad You Recognize It As an Inevitability

Wife: Would you still love me if I peed my pants?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: Would you still love me if I shit my pants?
Husband: We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Nashville, Tennessee

Leave It to the Ivy Leaguers to Really Get to the Crux of an Issue

Frat boy: That's all I want, a girl from, like, some poor village in southern Italy, doesn't speak a fuckin' *word* of English, and I can bring her home, and she can lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnocci.
Plain blonde girl: Do you really like gnocci?

Yale Berkeley College Dining Hall
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Um, of State Security?

Art student: He told me he really relates to my organs.

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

The Wolf Was No Match for Grandma

Dad: Later, we need to find grandma a boyfriend.
Seven-year-old son: Grandma already has a boyfriend, though.
Dad: Really? Who?
Seven-year-old son: She's married to granddad!
Dad: No, no, your other grandma.
Seven-year-old son: Oh yeah, she really needs a boyfriend.

Train
Manchester
England

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