Girl #1, taking in horrible smell: Whah…?
Girl #2, nodding, seriously: Yeah. Diarrhea. (pauses, then frantically) Not mine!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: phew.
Girl #1, taking in horrible smell: Whah…?
Girl #2, nodding, seriously: Yeah. Diarrhea. (pauses, then frantically) Not mine!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: phew.
Hootchie #1: Yeah, we just got back from a dildo party.
Hootchie #2: And we smell like two-dollar hookers!
Des Moines, Iowa
Girl to friend: I just don't understand why people don't want to be covered in spaghetti!
University of Virginia
Overheard by: MW
Doctor: Okay, we're going to give you an iron shot.
Nurse: Roll over on your side. Okay, you're just going to feel a little prick in your butt.
Patient: Better than the finger that was up there earlier!
ER
Newport Beach, California
Bartender #1: Yeah, so I had this weird shit comin' outta my dick. It was sick, dude. Like this funky green pus-like shit oozing from the tip. Smelled like shit, too.
Bartender #2: Dude, you need to quit boning so many filthy whores. You're like rotting from the inside.
Bartender #1: Shit, man, I don't give a fuck. As long as I keep gettin' laid.
Bartender #2: You ain't gonna be doin' shit if your fuckin' nasty dick falls off.
Bartender #1: I know, right? This last chick I nailed was a total slut. I pulled down my pants and she could smell whatever's up with my cock. She goes “Ew, what stinks? Is that your dick?” And I go, “No, it's my feet, I swear!” Then I just pulled her towards me and shoved it in. It was awesome.
Bartender #2: Fuck, man. Something's definitely wrong with you.
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Nasty Nate
Woman: My salad just made a guinea pig noise.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Stoner guy: So he turned around and there were aliens in the back seat. Then he said, “Yay! Now we can have a hoe down!”
Western Kentucky University
Creepster in poncho: I like your hair.
Hot chick: Oh, thanks.
Creepster in poncho: It smells like my grandma.
Bus stop
Gainesville, Florida
Girl #1: Jane*'s nice.
Girl #2: Yeah. But she smells like a dirty used tampon.
Girl #1: Yeah, makes me sick a bit.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Bus driver: So who else is gonna be there?
Passenger: Chicken boy will be there.
Bus driver: “Chicken boy”?
Passenger: Yeah, you know Dave*. That fool always smells like chicken! I always thought it was just me but at a party last week Elizabeth* and her friends all called him “chicken boy” too!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Dawn
