Sexuality

Guy to friend looking at beer: Yeah, I better get some if she's coming over. She's the only girl I've ever been with that can drink more than me. Which is kinda scary… and kinda hot.

New Castle, Indiana

Greek girlfriend: She misses you baby.
English boyfriend: Hm?
Greek girlfriend: She misses you.
English boyfriend: Who misses me?
Greek girlfriend: Helena.
English boyfriend: Who's Helena?
Greek girlfriend: My vagina, baby.
Indian guy at table: You named your snatch Helena?! Really? You named your vagina?
Greek girlfriend: Sure, don't you have a name for your dick?
Indian guy and English boyfriend, at same time: No.
Greek girlfriend: I've always thought of your dick as being called Errol, baby.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Male bar patron #1: Matt's just too much, man.
Male bar patron #2: I can't take that much manhood.
(awkward pause)
Male bar patron #3: I'm sore.

The Sevens
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Bar Patron

Teen goth girl: Yeah, I was going to go. But, seriously, what's the point of Bar Mitzvahs without trannies?

Bridgeland
Calgary
Canadia

Tween #1 waiting at bus stop: So, I wanna like him, but I don't want to, and I can't like him, 'cause I wanna like him, but I don't!…you know?
Tween #2: Wow, I know exactly what you mean!

London
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Great 'cause I sure don't

Drunk blonde: So, what do you think of American women?
Irish guy: Well, I don’t know how to say this delicately, but I prefer American men.
Drunk blonde: Mhmmm… So, do you have a girlfriend back home?
Irish guy: I’m not sure you quite understand…

Bar
Chicago, Illinois

Teenage girl #1 (suddenly): I wonder if there are strip clubs with just fat women.
Teenage girl #2: God, I hope so.

San Jose, California

Girl: Cara is so cute.
Guy: Yeah, she's adorable.
Girl: I mean, if I were a lesbian, I'd have sex with her.
Guy: I'm a little creeped out by that.
Girl: I mean, I've thought about it… (slight pause) I've never weighed myself!

Boston, Massachusetts

Professor: Who creates design?
Student: Women?
Professor: Men! Men! Gay men!

SUNY
Purchase, New York

Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld

Grey-haired grandma to another: Of course, it was worse for him because she left to become a lesbian. (pause) And you can't help thinking of all that licking.

Norfolk Island

Overheard by: kk