Stores

Mother holding DVD box to two tween kids: No, we can't get this one, it has too much (whispers) anal sex.

Best Buy
Calgary
Canadia

Bad-ass #1: What is Two and a Half Men about, anyway?
Bad-ass #2: Stop fuckin' askin' me, man! I told you, I don't know!

Video Store
Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: behind the counter

Girl: I've always wanted to try their maple bacon bar, but I either don't have enough cash, or I'm with someone and we usually either get the baker's dozen… or a penis.

Doughnut Store
Portland, Oregon

Teen girl in dept. store: I need to buy her a present, but it can't be jewelry. She doesn't like jewelry. She likes weapons.

Gainesville, Georgia

Grocery bagger to another: Yeah, man — just last month I spent over a hundred bucks on my balls!

Overheard by: Chey

Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash mom: You want mommy to push your stroller?
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash dad: You wanna go ten feet under?!
White trash mom: Honey, it's six feet.

Sears
Nashua, New Hampshire

Overheard by: jefe

Woman to friend: How can she know she's bi at 16? I'm 35 and *I* don't know if *I'm* bi!

Outside Steinmart
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: BecauseISaidSo

Suit on cell: Oh, did I tell you I met someone? (pause) Her name is Brian.

Civic Center Farmer's Market
San Francisco, California

Cop, helping hobo into jacket inside store: You are not drunk enough to be acting like this. People are going to think you are just mean.
Hobo: I *am* mean!

Sugarhood Smiths
Sugarhood, Utah

Mom: Do you want to take your coat off?
Toddler: Go to hell!

Wal-Mart
Hendersonville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Tanner