In the Nightmares Section

Man to salesperson in hippie bookstore: Hi I'm looking for a children's book about how chemicals and global warming are destroying the earth.
Salesperson: Oh, sure, it's right over here!

The Bookshelf
Guelph, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: The zoe

Posted on October 2, 2015
Books, Canadia, Default, Employees, Guys, Kids, Offers and requests, Stores

Stacy London Was a Challenging Kid to Raise

Woman to husband: Honey, do you think this would be a good fall coat for me?
Five-year-old daughter: It looks like an old-fashioned coat.
Woman: I knew you were gonna say that!
Five-year-old: A young lady like you shouldn't wear such an old-fashioned coat!

Target
Allen Park, Michigan

Posted on September 26, 2015
Advice, Clothing, Couples, Family, Kids, Michigan, Stores

Theme Parks Are Quite Different in Europe

Loud, fat american teen: I have to take the biggest leak ever. Pause. And then I want to check out those hedgehogs.

Market in Freiburg, Germany

Posted on September 21, 2015
Animals, Default, Etiquette, Fat people, Germany, Pee, Stores, Teens, Tourists, Wishes

Sometimes Your Words Just Flow Out, Uncontrollably

Little girl: Is there diarrhea here? I love diarrhea!
Mother: I have no idea what you're talking about, but it doesn't sound good, so stop it.

Target
Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Amused Employee

Posted on September 14, 2015
Default, Feelings, Girls, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Poop, Stores, Weirdness, Women

Then We Have a Newfound Admiration for P.S.- I Love You

Mother holding DVD box to two tween kids: No, we can't get this one, it has too much (whispers) anal sex.

Best Buy
Calgary
Canadia

Posted on August 31, 2015
Backdoor, Canadia, Default, Moms, Parenting, Shopping, Stores

And What's Written on the Box Makes No Sense at All

Bad-ass #1: What is Two and a Half Men about, anyway?
Bad-ass #2: Stop fuckin' askin' me, man! I told you, I don't know!

Video Store
Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: behind the counter

Posted on August 19, 2015
Assholes, Australia, Insults, Questions, Stores, Stupidity, TV shows

Regardless, It Fills Us Up.

Girl: I've always wanted to try their maple bacon bar, but I either don't have enough cash, or I'm with someone and we usually either get the baker's dozen… or a penis.

Doughnut Store
Portland, Oregon

Posted on August 11, 2015
Food, Girls, Money, Oregon, Penis, Stores, Wishes

Georgia Lesbians Do Not Play

Teen girl in dept. store: I need to buy her a present, but it can't be jewelry. She doesn't like jewelry. She likes weapons.

Gainesville, Georgia

Posted on August 11, 2015
Georgia, Gifts, Shopping, Stores, Teens, Violence

Fluffers Ain’t Cheap

Grocery bagger to another: Yeah, man — just last month I spent over a hundred bucks on my balls!

Overheard by: Chey

Posted on August 10, 2015
Balls, Body parts, Stores

As You'd Know If You Ever Watched TV With Me

Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash mom: You want mommy to push your stroller?
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash dad: You wanna go ten feet under?!
White trash mom: Honey, it's six feet.

Sears
Nashua, New Hampshire

Overheard by: jefe

Posted on August 9, 2015
Compare and contrast, Dads, Death & dying, Default, Kids, Moms, Murder, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, Parenting, Stores, Weirdness

Stores