Strangers

Take That Back or I’ll Give You an Atomic Wedgie Right Here

Late 20s drone in front of train operator’s door: Excuse me, can you move forward? The operator said I’m blocking the window.
Late 40s suit: No, you move forward. This is my spot.
Late 20s drone: We’re both blocking the window, and I can’t move unless you do.
Late 40s suit: I’m not moving.
Late 20s drone, groaning: You’re an ass.
Late 40s suit: No, you’re an ass.
Late 20s drone, pushing past: Oh, fuck you.
Late 40s suit, mocking: Oh, fuck you.
Late 20s drone: Good luck in third grade.

BART train, Bay Point – Daly City line
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: baby boomers must die

Oh, You're Just Still Pissed That I Stole Your Lucky Charms.

Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Another Conflict in Which the Swiss Happily Remain Neutral

Overweight redhead Southern lady #1, looking through Switzerland t-shirts: Y'all, Ginger… I think this size is a li'l too small…
Overweight redhead Southern lady #2: Naw, I think that looks 'bout right.
Random lady: I thought we went on vacation to get away from the Southerners, not go find some more…

Lucerne
Switzerland

Overheard by: marisawin

You're Too Kind, Madame

Little girl, in Arabic, as she sits in the train: Smells like cotton candy!
Mother, in French: Yeah, you're right, it smells like cotton candy. (to grandmother) Don't you think it smells like cotton candy?
Young black woman, sitting in the next row, smiling: It's me. It's my perfume.
Mother: Really?! What is it?
Young black woman: Vanilla and cotton candy.
Mother: Really? My girl told me it smells like the amusement park. At first I thought it was the cleaning product they used to wash the train floor. (pause) It smells really good.

C Train
Paris
France

Overheard by: BBM Tm

When Stabbing a Stranger Is Okay: An Overheard Everywhere Short Story

Indecisive young woman to stranger: It's just so hard to chose which wallet I want!
Stranger: Er, yeah. I'm shopping for a gift for a friend.
Indecisive young woman, holding up two wallets: What do you think, the red or the black?
Stranger: Ummmmm… The black.
Indecisive young woman: Hmmmm. It's just that red is so classy, you know?
Stranger: Then take the red one.
Indecisive young woman: But red doesn't go with everything… Black goes with everything.
Stranger: Then take the black one.
Indecisive young woman: I don't know. I don't like the way it looks inside. I liked that brown one over there (points) but it's a color that would just get dirty so quickly, you know?
Stranger: Mmmm-hmmm.
indecisive young woman, holding up two other wallets: What do you think, what suits me best?
Stranger: Um, they're both nice. It's hard to say which is best.
Indecisive young woman: Oh, I know… Choosing a wallet is such a personal thing, you know?

Mall
Australia

Overheard by: which is why you ask a complete stranger for their opinion

The Kind Of Guy Who Takes Women's Studies Classes to Meet Chicks

Women speaking to crowd at rally: We're here to take a stand against violence towards girls and women!
Solo guy in middle of the crowd: Woo! Yeah!

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Can you yell innapropriate?

If You Give Me That Seat, I'll Juggle Them for You.

Old man on subway to perfect stranger: So I give this woman three eggs to put in her pocket. You know, crack. And, can you hold this?
(young woman holds coffee for him)
Old man: So I've got these eggs…

Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

When Enthusiasm Is Contagious

Strangely cheerful 30-something: I'm not shaking hands, or hugging, or anything anymore! I'm infected!

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Isn't infected

The Demographic Oprah Couldn't Reach

Delivery guy to guy wearing “Deadheads for Obama” t-shirt: So the Dead are for Obama?
Man: Uh-huh.
Delivery guy: Then so am I.

Burbank, California

Overheard by: Urzzz

…Why Do You Think I'm Gay?

Crying girl: I have always wanted to have kids, you know? Now I can't.
Friend: It's really not that bad.
Crying girl: No, the doctor said I can never get pregnant!
Friend: Look at it this way: you can have tons of sex and never have to worry about it. I think it's a pretty sweet deal!
Random guy: I agree with you, sista.

San Francisco, California

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