Girl: Who are you dating now?
Guy: I don’t know if you’d call it dating, but I met a stripper that comes over around midnight, gets me high, sucks my dick, we fuck, I fall asleep and when I wake up, she’s gone.
Random eavesdropper: Dude, marry that bitch!
Open Bar
San Diego, California
Freshman girl, emphatically to strangers: Roller derby saved my life! Roller derby saved all of our lives!
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: You've been playing for a month, shut up
Little girl with mother: My birthday’s coming up soon, so I don’t want to get anything for me.
Woman in opposite aisle: There is no way that child is human.
CVS
Houston, Texas
Man at bar: What do you girls do for a living?
Attractive women: We’re in sales, you?
Man: You’re in sales? I think you need a career change.
Women: I’m sorry, what do you do?
Man: I’m with the carnival.
Country Bar
Fort Worth, Texas
Man beside pen with goat: I am not paying that much for that! I am not buying your goat!
Goatkeeper: Nobody's buying the goat.
Man beside pen with goat: That's it, I'm taking the goat!
Goatkeeper: Nobody's taking the goat, we're not selling the goat!
Large passerby: There are no goats in Cameroon.
Toronto
Canadia
Russian girl: When I read in Russian, nothing can stop me. But when I read in English, I need silence.
American girl: That's what the music is for!
Train
Moscow to Nizhniy Novgorod
Russia
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Mother to daughter: Come on!
(daughter rolls eyes and follows)
Random man to young girl: Is that your mother? You should be thrilled! Mine's dead!
Marin County, California
Passerby: Oh my god! Look at that woman’s outfi– Oh, never mind. She’s ethnic, it’s okay.
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
Cheerful guard examining passport photo: What, no smile?
Dour Canadian: No. In Canada we do not have to smile.
O’Hare International Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rose Fox
