Student: Are we only allowed to use pen, or can we use pencil?
Professor: Pen is preferable, but if you run out, pencil is better than writing in blood.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/05/13/you-dont-get-to-write-in-blood-till-grad-school/
Professor, looking at picture of optical illusion: Here…we have…a bunch of lines.
Northwestern Univeristy
Chicago, Illinois
Spanish professor, as class leaves on Friday: Be careful driving when you drink this weekend!
Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana
Overheard by: whitney
Feminist student, about discussion: No, this is completely wrong! We shouldn't be congratulating men for not having affairs!
Teacher: Yes, that's exactly right! I mean, it's like when we congratulate black people for staying out of prison!
(stunned silence)
Kendrick School
Columbus, Georgia
Overheard by: MJH
Australian lecturer: Nakedness wasn't good until now. Now it's great.
College
Portland, Oregon
Guy with soul patch: Don't German people always drive at 200 miles an hour all the time?
Girl in front row, sarcastically: I think you mean 200 kilometers per hour.
Guy with soul patch: It doesn't matter, they're the same thing!
Professor, calmly: If I go crazy and start a killing spree, you'll be the first one I get.
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.
University of Michigan
Overheard by: getout
Vice principal: Listen up, everyone! The rules of the school also apply at the bowling alley. If you smoke, drink, or do drugs, we will call the cops. If you break anything, you will have to pay. If you hump the ball machine for the sake of irony, you will be sent home. That means you, Aaron*!
Aaron*: Aw, man!
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Professor, discussing King Solomon's Mines: So they find the body in the cave, and it hasn't decomposed at all. Not such a strange thing, as those of you who've ever hidden a body in a freezer will know.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Professor: Sponges can regenerate from the broken pieces. If you put a sponge through a mincing machine, you just get lots of little sponges. If you put a cow through, you get mince. If you put a person through, you get arrested.
Rhodes University
South Africa
Overheard by: Amused Zoology Student
