Pretty blonde snuggling with Asian boyfriend: Honey, I'm sorry I was so crazy earlier.
Asian boyfriend: It's okay, sweetie, but I am going to have to punish you when we get home.
Pretty blonde, smiling: A spanking?
Asian boyfriend, kissing her forehead: Whatever you want, sweetie.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Teenager, chasing after young boy on bike: I'm gonna eat your children!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Li'l Bit
Daddy: If you don't eat…
Three-year-old boy: You'll hit my butt? I like it when you hit my butt, it feels good on my super wee-wee!
Chick-fil-A
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Carrie
(little girl is spinning and singing in grocery store line)
Dad, very calmly: Honey… Next time the gypsies come to town, they're leaving with an extra person.
Severna Park, Maryland
Mother to kid: Stop that right now, or I'm going to give you to a stranger!
Stranger: Good luck finding one who'll take her.
The Baltimore Aquarium
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Cols
Tourist to park ranger: How do I get to Mt. Desert Island from here?
Park ranger: Ummm, you're standing on it.
Tourist: No, I'm not.
Park ranger: Yes, you are.
Tourist: This is ridiculous, I'm going to report you to the government.
Park ranger: No, really, you're on the island.
Mount Desert Island, Maine
Dad to kid: Come back here, or I'll have to beat you!
Kid, indignant: You can't beat me! I'm a belly button!
Wal-Mart
Pasco, Washington
Woman to four-year-old daughter: Do not touch anything. Do you know what will happen if you touch something?
Little girl: You'll smack me in the face!
Liquor Store
New Jersey
Dad to little girl sitting on railing, watching sea lions: You fall down, that's it. If you fall down, I'm not helping you. (pause) And the sea lion's gonna eat you.
Pier 39
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Paulo
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you…because I am Osama Bin Laden.
Starbucks
New York City, New York
