Time Management

Girl: December 27th, plenty of time to fuck someone for New Year's.
Crazy lady: I didn't hear that! I'm a Pentacostal! That's blasphemy!

Gainesville, Florida

Female college student: My new thing is going to bed at a decent time when I have class in the morning.
20-something college dropout: My new thing is binge drinking every day. But I guess that's not really new.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/357823613/everyone-has-a-routine.html

Overheard by: passing out at a decent hour

Employee #1: It's been such a slow day. I feel like I've been here forever.
Employee #2: I know, right?
Employee #1: How about you? Today been slow for you too?
Employee #3: Nope. I discovered time travel.

Hardware Store
Agoura Hills, California

Drunk young girl: Whatever. She could have had sex whenever she wanted.
Drunk mother: Well, she's beat you by a few years!
Drunk grandmother: I haven't had sex in such a long time.

The Keg
Vancouver
Canadia

20-something gal: Can you believe September 11th was eight years ago?
20-something guy: Really? That long? Yeah, I guess it's true.
20-something gal: A lot's changed since then. We've both lost our virginity.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Will S.

Biology professor, a month into school: You have an exam next Monday… I mean Tuesday. Next Tuesday. (chuckle) You don't have this class on Mondays.
Really blonde girl in the back: Wait! We don't?!

Blinn College
Brenham, Texas

Overheard by: Face Palm

Frat guy, after taking a hit from a blunt and smoking a cigarette: I feel like I spend the majority of my day inhaling something.

University of Wisconsin
Madison, Wisconsin

Dude: That's why I love Macs, install windows XP and it's like (snaps fingers) twenty minutes and you're done.
Dude #2: That's not good! That's like saying (snaps his fingers) you've got VD!

Canadia

Chick, approaching yuppie guy: Hey I haven't seen you since…
Yuppie guy: Since I nailed you in the high school bathroom! Four… five years ago, right Jen?
Chick: No, that wasn't me. But thanks for remembering my name!

Bar
Nebraska

Overheard by: allie

Slacker student boy, after teacher has announced half the class will have to take summer school: Yeah! Summer school!
Serious student girl: What's so great about summer school?
Slacker student boy: You get to get out earlier and you can do all sorts of shit without getting in trouble.
(serious student girl rolls eyes and shakes head)
Slacker student boy: Why don't you like summer school?
Serious student girl: I don't find the idea of waking up early through the summer appealing.
Slacker student boy: Have you ever had summer school?
Serious student girl: No, and I don't plan on doing so.
Slacker student boy: Don't be so sure of that, because one day you're going to start doing drugs.

San Jose, California

Overheard by: inoursecrets